**47**

“This rain brings a cool relief.” Grandma was packing Chi Sheng’s luggage. Hearing the sudden sound of rain outside, she looked up toward the window and sighed, “It’s getting cold, make sure to wear more. Don’t rely on your youth to keep you from catching a chill. When you’re old, it’ll be hard on you.”

Chi Sheng followed beside her, helping hand her things, and earnestly promised, “Don’t worry, Grandma. I’ll take good care of myself.”

“How can I be at ease? You’ve never been so far away before.” Grandma picked up a piece of clothing and paused, tears welling up in her eyes again.

They, grandmother and granddaughter, depended on each other for survival. Now that Chi Sheng was going to college, going so far away, she would only be able to come back a few times a year.

Seeing her grandmother cry, Chi Sheng felt a pain in her heart as well. She had originally planned to spend this time accompanying her grandmother, but her mind was preoccupied with Ruan Yinmeng, and she was always distracted. As a result, although she stayed at home, she barely spoke a few words.

Grandmother took Chi Sheng’s hand and sat down on the edge of the bed.

Her hands were thin and rough, bearing the marks of age and a life of hard work.

She earnestly advised, “Don’t go to work; it’s too hard. You’re so young, you can’t handle such hardship. Also, don’t be too frugal—spend money where it’s needed. Our family’s money is enough to cover expenses until you graduate.”

“Call grandma when you have time, don’t keep worrying about home, grandma is taking good care of herself.”

Chi Sheng lowered her head, and whenever grandma spoke, she quietly responded with a soft yes.

Guilt mixed with the sorrow of parting, like a flame ignited on the grassland, spreading wildly and rapidly, the fire licking higher and burning stronger.

Grandma’s worries continued in her ear: “You have to take good care of yourself. I don’t know if you’ll get used to the food there. You’ve been picky since you were little. To get you to eat more, your mom and I have spent countless efforts…”

Chi Sheng’s head was so heavy she couldn’t lift it, and it took a long moment before she found her voice: “…I was very young back then.”

Very, very young, but she still vaguely remembered some things.

“Your parents would be so happy to see you doing so well now, making grandma worry less and bringing honor to the family,” grandma said, wiping her tears as she spoke.

Chi Sheng’s eyes also grew sore, the wildfire of guilt surging through her making it hard to breathe.

“I’m not that good…” she said very softly, so softly that Grandma couldn’t hear clearly, yet it echoed like thunder in her own ears.

Chi Sheng tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep.

That summer, she had many such sleepless nights. She would get up, lean on the windowsill, and see the orange-yellow streetlamp downstairs standing silently in the night, and the third-floor balcony often filled with drying clothes, silent and empty.

Throughout that entire summer, that streetlamp and the owner of that balcony adorned the dreams of her youthful years.

But Chi Sheng knew that she and Ruan Yinmeng were not accepted by the world; not to mention Ruan Yinmeng’s past, just two women being together was enough to be despised by others.

If Grandma found out, who knows how angry she would be—she might even refuse to acknowledge her.

She lay down, looking at the phone charging with the light coming in from outside.

Ruan Yinmeng rarely took the initiative to contact her, but every time they spoke, Chi Sheng could feel her care for her.

She wanted her to spend more time with her grandmother, and Chi Sheng understood her intention.

But now, feeling especially lost and overwhelmed by guilt, unable to be calm anymore, she really wished she could talk to her.

The scene shifted, the night fading away, the sky gradually turning pale, and the setting moved to the train station.

At the station entrance, bicycles jingled their bells, many parents were sending their children onto the train, and family and friends were bidding farewell to travelers. The station was a place full of goodbyes.

Chi Sheng sat by the window as the train rocked and started moving. Grandma was outside, waving her hand incessantly. She was old and, squeezed in the crowd, swayed like a withered branch in the wind and rain. Su Miaomiao’s mother was beside her, supporting her.

“Chi Sheng, study hard and take good care of yourself.”

Grandma’s voice came through, so faint amidst the noisy crowd, yet deafening to Chi Sheng.

The car drove out of the station and onto the road. Su Miaomiao sat beside Chi Sheng, took out a bag of tea eggs, bumped Chi Sheng’s arm, and Chi Sheng glanced back, smiled slightly, and shook his hand.

Her smile was somewhat pale, somewhat dry, then she continued to look out the window.

A leaf fell from a tree by the roadside—it was the first fallen leaf of autumn.

Chi Sheng suddenly realized that midsummer had already passed. That dream, which blossomed in the height of summer and in joy, had run wild, but it had now come to an end. The problems of reality were unfolding before her.

The sunlight was golden, shining on Chi Sheng’s face. It was less scorching than the midsummer sun, yet still warm and bright.

She suddenly smiled.

Why be so pessimistic? Midsummer has passed, but the sunlight remains beautiful.

There is always a way. Besides, things are already getting better. Ruan Yinmeng has moved to a new city, and no one will know about her past. She can find a new job, which might be a bit tough, but Ruan Yinmeng will definitely be happy.

She would share the burden, and she was about to turn eighteen, so she would have more choices in the future. By then, Ruan Yinmeng wouldn’t have to work so hard.

More importantly, she could see her today. She missed her very much, thinking about her every day.

They had been filming this scene back and forth all night, and by the time they finished the last shot, it was already noon.

It was all about Chi Sheng’s inner thoughts, which had to be conveyed through facial expressions and body language to the audience. This was still too difficult for Ning Zhi.

Especially in the final scene, the gloom disappeared, and there was a sparkle in Chisheng’s eyes. After a brief moment of confusion and guilt, she rekindled her hope.

In just a few seconds, she needed to convey through her expression and eyes the youthful fear of Chi Sheng, Chi Sheng’s resurgence, Chi Sheng’s longing, and Chi Sheng’s optimistic resilience.

After filming, Ning Zhi felt completely exhausted, sunburned and too weak to move.

They were at an abandoned old bus station. Pingcheng had newly planned a high-speed rail station and moved the old bus station, which had been in use for more than twenty years, to a location next to the high-speed rail station.

The old bus station had not yet been demolished to build new structures and was borrowed by the film crew to shoot this scene.

The extras dressed in the clothing of that era had all dispersed, and in front of the old building, the bustling people were from many years later. Several buses, styled to look like the worn-out public buses from the early 2000s, were still parked in front.

Ning Zhi suddenly felt a sense of time overlapping.

Everything was too realistic. Chi Sheng and Ruan Yinmeng seemed to truly exist, existing in some past moment, and through acting, her gaze traveled back through countless moments to see them.

A parasol blocked the sunlight.

She looked up and saw Ruan Yinmeng, as if she had stepped out of time.

Get up.

Ning Zhi was stunned for a moment, her thoughts interrupted, staring at Shen Yizhi in front of her.

Her memory slowly awakened. The filming had lasted nearly thirty hours, and being immersed in the plot for so long, she had almost forgotten what happened before shooting began.

“Why are you still here? You don’t have any scenes.” Shen Yizhi’s scenes ended yesterday afternoon, so she didn’t need to stay up with everyone else.

Ning Zhi stood up, rubbed her eyes, and the fatigue finally hit her like a floodgate opening, rushing through her entire body, making her legs feel heavy.

Staying up late is bad for you. If you don’t have scenes, you should be sleeping.” She instinctively squeezed Shen Yizhi’s arm. “Besides, you drank too much the day before yesterday.

Thinking about the drinking made Ning Zhi worried. “You really need to be careful; your tolerance is too low.”

Shen Yizhi knew she wouldn’t forget this matter, so he could only respond softly, “Mm.”

Trying to bluff his way through.

Ning Zhi wasn’t finished yet. Before the shoot, she hadn’t finished what she wanted to say, and now that no one was paying attention to them, she hurriedly told everything to Shen Yizhi.

“The entertainment industry is very dangerous. I once saw a newcomer get drunk and taken away. But General Manager Su said that newcomer went willingly, yet…” Ning Zhi felt this was very wrong.

“In short, it’s so chaotic, you need to be vigilant. Also, when you’re drunk…” Ning Zhi carefully chose her words and after a moment, said euphemistically, “you become very attractive.”

What if bad people target you? She had a relatively high status, but what if she encountered someone reckless and careless?

When Shen Yizhi heard the last half of her sentence, he wasn’t sure if he felt embarrassed or awkward, so he just tried to say calmly, “I understand, don’t say any more.”

She obviously didn’t want to mention it, and Ning Zhi sensed it this time.

She was silent for a few seconds, then looked down and saw that she was holding Shen Yizhi’s arm. She let go and lowered her hand.

Suddenly, she realized that maybe she had crossed a line. Thinking carefully, she indeed had been getting closer to Shen Yizhi recently and becoming more casual.

Her hand hanging by her side squeezed her thumb. She nodded, “Alright.” After a few seconds, she still couldn’t help but say, “Next time we go to a drinking party, remember to bring an assistant, a smart one who can hold their liquor.”

Her speech was fast, and her words abruptly cut off in the last few seconds. Then, she smiled, “So sleepy, I’m going to sleep now. Your car can’t fit me lying down, so I’ll go to my own car. You should head back soon too.”

She yawned as she spoke, the corners of her eyes tinged with red, a slight shimmer of moisture—unclear if it was from tiredness or something else.

After she finished speaking, she quickened her pace. There were still many people around, all tidying up props and packing various filming equipment. The scenes in Pingcheng had come to a temporary end; tomorrow they would be filming in another city.

Changing the environment always brings a sense of anticipation; everyone was quite happy, chatting and laughing while packing up the machines.

Ning Zhi, however, ignored it all. She walked a bit faster, but after just a few steps, someone grabbed her from behind.

Ning Zhi turned around. She felt as if her face was magnified infinitely, stiff and unnatural. Even forcing a smile was difficult, but she still curved the corners of her lips, acting as if nothing had happened.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

Shen Yizhi looked at her for a long moment before saying, “I’m just not used to it.”

She wasn’t used to being like this herself. Previously, Meilan and Ning Zhi had said that liking someone would make you lose control, but she didn’t agree; everyone expresses their emotions differently.

She was more accustomed to a rational approach: being good to her, caring for her, and being by her side the moment she needed it. Wasn’t that enough?

She had always thought so, until yesterday. Her mind was clear, even clearer than usual, yet her brain seemed split in two. One part said it shouldn’t be this way, while the other completely ignored that, deliberately showing signs of drunkenness, revealing a side she never usually showed, trying to make Ning Zhi reveal that same intense, persistent look from before.

She felt like she was walking on a tightrope over a cliff, swaying unsteadily, yet utterly captivated.

She had never experienced anything like this before, as if she had detached herself from her own body, her actions and behavior no longer under her control.

She was not used to it and was very flustered.

But these were all her own problems and had nothing to do with Ning Zhi.

Ning Zhi couldn’t quite understand what she meant by not being used to it, but since Shen Yizhi took the initiative to keep her, she couldn’t leave.