**42**

On the way there in the morning, Ning Zhi asked Shen Yizhi how to perform this crying scene.

Although there had been an explosive crying scene before, Ning Zhi relied entirely on immersion and self-identification; her understanding of the character and handling of subtle emotions were still very inexperienced.

It was shortly after dawn, the sun had just shown its face, and there were few people and vehicles on the road, so their car drove exceptionally smoothly.

The summer morning breeze blew in, tousling a strand of Shen Yizhi’s hair by her cheek.

“It will hurt a lot.” She lowered her eyes, one hand pressing on the script.

Ning Zhi sat beside her, the script also resting on her lap. She looked at Shen Yizhi’s calm and beautiful profile, and the fingers pressing on the script curled slightly.

“Mm.” She hummed softly, waiting for Shen Yizhi to continue speaking.

Shen Yizhi turned her head towards her: “A wound that is tightly covered and never shown to others, a wound that has long been festering and beyond cure, being suddenly and unexpectedly poked like this, of course it will hurt. Ruan Yinmeng must be grieving uncontrollably.”

Ning Zhi only thought that when Ruan Yinmeng heard Chi Sheng say that, she would definitely be happy and joyful, or rather, feel an emotion deeper than joy, but he never expected that she would feel pain.

Shen Yizhi saw that she seemed a bit dazed, smiled briefly, but the smile quickly faded. She said, “She will still be deeply grateful, grateful to Chi Sheng, grateful to fate. From the moment Chi Sheng touched her wound with a passionate and sincere heart, Ruan Yinmeng had no way to turn back.”

She couldn’t escape anymore. From now on, Ruan Yinmeng belonged to Chi Sheng—her soul, her body, every bone in her was his.

Ruan Yinmeng’s tears fell uncontrollably as if beyond her control. She stared at Chi Sheng, a vulnerability never seen before appearing on her face, like a little girl permanently abandoned in the dark. Suddenly, a ray of sunlight shone upon her.

Chi Sheng panicked, fumbling with her hands, repeatedly saying, “Don’t cry, don’t cry.”

She reached out to wipe her tears. Although warm, Chi Sheng’s fingertips felt as if they had been scalded, aching painfully with heartache.

Ruan Yinmeng stared at her in a daze, curling the corners of her lips, but her tears fell even more heavily.

She cried for a long time. At first, Chi Sheng only wiped her tears, but soon he couldn’t care about anything else and held her tightly, as if by hugging each other closely, they could pass strength to one another.

She had never seen an adult break down like this before. She only felt her eyes sting and wished all the suffering would stay far away from Ruan Yinmeng. She hated that she was still too young and couldn’t be like Superman, protecting Ruan Yinmeng so thoroughly that no one could bully her.

The scene ended here. The windowsill in the picture reflected the dense green branches outside and the slanting rays of the sunset, while the light blue curtains swayed gently and leisurely.

Ning Zhi held Shen Yizhi for several seconds before slowly realizing and letting go. She looked at her in a daze, her arms filled with her warmth and breath.

Shen Yizhi’s eyes were red from crying, slightly swollen. She glanced at Ning Zhi and said, “I’m going to wash my face.”

Her voice was severely hoarse.

For some reason, when Shen Yizhi stood up, Ning Zhi also stood and held her hand.

Shen Yizhi turned her head back and looked down at the hand Ning Zhi was holding. She was gripping it urgently, tightly, with a frantic fear of losing it, holding on firmly.

Shen Yizhi felt a heavy gloom in her heart. She looked up at Ning Zhi, who seemed startled by her gaze and released her hand. Shen Yizhi’s hand was left empty, and her heart followed suit, sinking even deeper into gloom.

“Go ahead.” Ning Zhi sat back in her chair, tilting her head up to speak to Shen Yizhi, but her eyes remained fixed on her as if trying to lock her in place with her gaze.

In that moment, the intense emotions raging in Shen Yizhi’s heart were soothed by Ning Zhi’s strong unease and reluctance. She curved her lips slightly and softened her voice, saying, “Wait for me to go back together.”

Since that morning when they arrived at the set, they had started commuting together, still using the excuse that they could rehearse lines on the way.

Ning Zhi would never speak up first; she always waited for her to start talking before following behind her, seeming very reluctant.

But yesterday morning, she woke up late and thought Ning Zhi wouldn’t wait for her and would leave first. She hurriedly opened the door and saw Ning Zhi standing by the door, looking awkward, waving the breakfast in her hand at her, and said, “It’s too late, right? I asked Yang Yang to buy some for you. Eat it on the way.”

Only then did Shen Yizhi realize that although Ning Zhi wouldn’t take the initiative to speak, every time she finished work, she would stay by her side, listening intently, occasionally glancing at her, waiting for her to call her to go back together.

Just like now, as soon as she mentioned it, Ning Zhi nodded: “Okay.”

Completely calming Shen Yizhi’s intense emotions caused by Ruan Yinmeng, she went to the bathroom, while Ning Zhi stayed in place, empty-heartedly gripping the chair.

She thought about how Shen Yizhi had just cried bitterly in her arms, and about the way she looked at her, as if she was her whole world.

These are all the emotions of Ruan Yinmeng, the intense feelings through which she vents the sorrow of the past thirty-one years.

Ning Zhi couldn’t help but wonder if Shen Yizhi would have such strong emotions. Who would make her lose control and cry like this?

Probably not, she is so calm and rational.

But what if? What if she really has moments when she can’t control her emotions?

Ning Zhi was lost in wild thoughts, thinking with a trembling heart, even feeling a strong longing for that kind of Shen Yizhi.

How much must one care to lose control like that?

Ning Zhi sighed, looked up and saw Meilan sitting nearby, holding a pen and sketching busily on paper.

Curious, Ning Zhi approached and leaned in for a closer look, discovering that she was drawing storyboards.

Most directors can create storyboards. Mei Lan is especially skilled at composition, and her film shots often possess a strong sense of beauty.

Ning Zhi looked for a while, then turned to look at the scene just filmed—the thick shadows outside the window, the potted plant on the windowsill, the light blue curtains gently swaying alone in the suddenly cold and quiet atmosphere, and those two chairs placed tightly together, empty and unoccupied.

Even just looking at it like this, one could taste the indescribable meaning within. If the two female leads were added, it would surely be even more moving.

Ning Zhi looked forward to the effect after the finished film was released, wondering how the response would be, how the box office would perform.

This movie is so delicate, both the shots and the story are refined to the extreme. This is bound to lose a large portion of the audience, after all, nowadays society prefers something light and effortless to watch.

She looked at Meilan’s gentle storyboard composition and suddenly asked, “Director Mei, do you have someone you like?”

Meilan paused her pen, looked up at her, and said with a smile, “Why? You’re not supposed to pry into the director’s personal matters, you know?”

Ning Zhi smiled along, her eyes curved warmly, and she reached out to tap her sketchbook with her fingertip, saying, “I just feel that such delicate and tender shots must be for someone you really like.”

Meilan smiled but didn’t answer her directly, only saying, “Mind your own business.”

Her words were loaded with meaning, causing Ning Zhi to flinch. Her smile froze, and she forced a slight twitch of her lips: “Huh? What are you talking about?”

Meilan looked at her deeply, making Ning Zhi press her lips together.

“Chi Sheng can’t help but be moved by Ruan Yinmeng. What about you, is it in the play or out of it?” Her eyes were clear and piercing. Under her gaze, Ning Zhi felt as if all her secrets had been seen through.

But Meilan didn’t press further. She glanced behind her and smiled, saying, “See clearly into your own heart.”

Ning Zhi opened his mouth but didn’t get a chance to speak before Shen Yizhi’s voice came from behind, “What are you talking about?”

In that moment, Ning Zhi felt all the blood in his body stir, his spine tingling, as if the deepest secret in his heart had been glimpsed.

On the way back, Ning Zhi sat on one side of the back seat, looking somewhat shaken.

Shen Yizhi looked several times before asking, “What’s wrong? What did you say to Mei Lan?”

Ning Zhi sighed somewhat sorrowfully, looked at her, and said softly, “I was countered by Director Mei.”

Shen Yizhi didn’t understand, so Ning Zhi explained more clearly, “I asked her if she liked someone, she didn’t answer me, and instead outwitted me.”

Shen Yizhi was silent for a moment, then shook her head: “She won’t say it. If she doesn’t want to say it, no one can get it out of her.” As she spoke, a smile crept into her voice, and she asked, “How did Director Mei defeat your army?”

The back seat of the car was very spacious, with one person sitting on each side, leaving a large empty space in the middle—more than enough room for another person.

Shen Yizhi relaxed her posture, resting her elbow leisurely on the control panel next to the door handle.

Ning Zhi glanced at her in the darkness. Seeing her chatting so casually, he suddenly felt inexplicably stifled. Just then, the car passed a bus stop, and the light from the station shone into the car, revealing the tension in Shen Yizhi’s eyes clearly.

Ning Zhiqing’s stifled heart tightened instantly. She opened her mouth, but her lips and tongue were extremely dry.

Director Mei said…” Her voice became hoarse, “to see your own heart clearly.

Is that all?” Shen Yizhi asked again. The bus stop was already far behind them, and there was no brighter light source nearby. Ning Zhiqing couldn’t see her expression clearly, but she still kept her tone steady and continued, “The previous sentence was, Chi Sheng can’t help but be moved by Ruan Yinmeng’s heart. And you, are you in the play or outside the play?

They had discussed this question many times, but mostly in a vague way, only talking about half of it, only about Ning Zhiqing’s feelings for Ruan Yinmeng, without mentioning her feelings for Shen Yizhi outside the play.

The car suddenly fell into silence. Ning Zhi caught a glimpse of the driver curiously glancing at the rearview mirror. She turned her head to look out the window, both afraid that she would ask and hoping that she would.

But Shen Yizhi never spoke again.

So Ning Zhi’s heart sank into an endless abyss, sinking deeper and deeper into darkness.

She thought she would breathe a sigh of relief, but in the end, what she felt more was disappointment.

She got out of the car and entered the elevator, then turned into the corridor after exiting. At the end of the corridor was Shen Yizhi’s room. She opened the door, her hand gripping the doorknob, and Ning Zhi whispered softly, “I’m leaving.”

Shen Yizhi suddenly asked, “Did you see clearly?”

The heart sinking into the abyss suddenly stirred, Ning Zhi’s palm began to sweat, and only then did she realize this was a dilemma with no easy way out.

How was she supposed to answer, and why was Shen Yizhi asking?

Shen Yizhi’s gaze was heavy, gradually tinged with a hint of helplessness. He stopped pressing her and instead asked slowly, “Will you be able to see clearly after the shoot?”

After the photoshoot, there really was no reason to hide it anymore—either stay far away from her or openly show love by her side. Ning Zhi nodded.

Shen Yizhi walked in, hand resting on the doorframe, and said to Ning Zhi outside, “Go to bed early.”

Ning Zhi lowered his eyes, nodded, and walked away. After several steps, he heard a soft bang behind him—the door had closed.

Shen Yizhi entered, raised his hand to lean against the cabinet, and took a deep breath.

She walked in, put down her bag, and saw the guest room where Ning Zhi had spent the night.

She went in and sat by the bed. The bedding had been changed, and Ning Zhi’s scent was long gone.

Shen Yizhi relaxed her body and sat there absentmindedly for a while, then suddenly laughed at herself.

As she struggled to distinguish whether her feelings for Ning Zhi were genuine affection or just the influence of her role, which had distorted six years of worry and guilt, the first thing she couldn’t suppress was actually her possessiveness over her.

The next day, when Ning Zhi went to the set with her, she still seemed a bit dazed. Shen Yizhi didn’t disturb her and quietly looked over the script she had long since memorized.

Today’s scene continues from yesterday.

Ruan Yinmeng stayed in Chi Sheng’s arms for an unknown length of time. Outside, the sky had darkened, and it looked like it was going to rain.

Summer weather is just like that—rain comes without warning, and when it’s sunny, it’s sunny.

Ruan Yinmeng stood up, turned her back, and wiped her face. Chi Sheng also got up and closed the window to prevent the rain from coming in later.

“Go wash your face.” She said, standing behind Ruan Yinmeng.

Ruan Yinmeng nodded, and when she turned back, she saw her gaze was somewhat evasive.

Chi Sheng pinched his own hand, standing to the side.

The sound of water came from the bathroom. After a while, Ruan Yinmeng came out; her face was already clean, but her cheeks and eyes were very red, and her eyes were still swollen.

Chi Sheng pondered whether to give her an ice pack to apply. Ruan Yinmeng noticed her gaze, pursed her lips, and asked, “Does it look bad?”

Chi Sheng immediately shook her head. “It looks good.” Saying this, she gave a shy smile and nodded firmly, “It looks good.”

Ruan Yinmeng gently bit her lip, glanced at her, then walked back to the chair she had just been sitting on. However, as the sky darkened, it was no longer as bright there.

Chi Sheng followed and also sat down in the same spot as before.

Ruan Yinmeng looked at the swaying branches outside the window and the gloomy sky: “Are you going home?”

What she said was “Are you going home?” not “You should leave.”

Chi Sheng could tell that she hoped he would stay.

There was still the money for Grandma left in the pocket. Originally, it was meant for Grandma, to see her happy, but happiness doesn’t have to come right now; it can wait a little longer.

Chi Sheng said, “I’m not leaving.”

After she said that, she felt a bit shameless, so sitting there became uncomfortable.

But Ruan Yinmeng didn’t think that way. She had many things to tell Chi Sheng, but those matters, those pasts, had been buried deep in her heart for so long that she no longer knew where to begin.

What she feared even more was how Chi Sheng would react once he found out.

Finally, she made up her mind, turned back to look at Chi Sheng, and said softly, “I’ve been doing this since I was a child. My mother used to bring guests home.”

Chi Sheng suddenly clenched his fist tightly, a momentary blank expression appearing on his face.

Ruan Yinmeng’s voice faltered. She took a deep breath before struggling to add, “The guests you found for me.”