Chapter 44: That scumbag is “so ugly, but I love him so much”..

Han Rao felt that when he spoke after drinking, his voice was particularly hoarse and deep, like snow accumulated on branches in winter, unable to bear the weight, suddenly scattering, and crystal snowflakes drifting with the wind, slowly falling.

Perhaps because she was from the south, she had a deep and complex affection for snow. Since childhood, she had yearned for winter to be colder and colder. Even after living in Beicheng, a truly desolate northern city, for seven years, she still got excited every time she saw snow.

But the feeling Zhao Jichuan gave her tonight was like that long-awaited snow—gentle, pure, and unforgettable.

Perhaps this was the charm of him when he was drunk.

Actually, Han Rao didn’t want to deceive herself; she had heard and remembered every word Zhao Jichuan said at the restaurant tonight very clearly.

He seemed to genuinely exude the demeanor of someone visiting his girlfriend’s parents, carrying gifts: humble, accommodating, and ready to answer any question.

Han Ting asked about his family situation, and he answered each question in detail. Han Rao had never had the chance to truly understand these background details.

Han Ting even asked him about his plans for their future. Zhao Jichuan calmly and confidently replied that she was currently focused on her career, and that meeting parents or even getting married in the future would all depend on her opinion..

These words were the perfect answer, too decent, smooth, and false, yet Han Rao vaguely felt that when he spoke them, he might have genuinely meant a few of them.

But she also knew that what he said was impossible. At most, they had a power/sex exchange; how could there be such a bright future to speak of?

Han Rao felt a bit down, burying her head in his arms without moving. She was even a little annoyed, wanting to bite him to vent her anger and ask him why he could act so convincingly with such insincere feelings.

But in the end, she did nothing, letting him kiss her forehead. She closed her eyes and listened to his even, steady breathing, feeling the thing under her hand gradually become hot and hard.

This night was so long, even the waiting felt a bit impatient and anxious.

The man finally couldn’t resist, yet restrained himself, biting her earlobe again, and repeated the exact same sentence from just now in a low voice.

Han Rao awoke from a dream, she put away the distracting thoughts in her mind, and obediently followed his commands and instructions.

After all, it had been a long time since they last met, and her body truly yearned for him. So she got off him, leaned over, and half-knelt on the carpet.

The warm yellow light from the headlamp shone on her face. Zhao Jichuan wondered if it was just his imagination, but he thought he saw a mischievous smile on her face.

The next second, he no longer had the mind to consider what her facial expression was conveying. Because he heard a “click,” very crisp, echoing in the vast house. This was the song of a siren, mysterious, enchanting, deadly, yet ethereal.

　　男

He only felt his scalp tingle, he could feel her hand was a little cold, covering his skin, the stimulating sensation of water and fire clashing.

He looked up slightly, and she pursed her lips, with two strands of hair falling from her neck, her eyes fixed on him.

Han Rao looked up, met his gaze, and slid her hand up and down, “Is this okay?”

Zhao Jichuan’s breathing gradually became erratic. He didn’t speak, but raised his hand to pick up a pillow and put it under his head, making it easier for him to watch her with ease.

Han Rao swallowed, then suddenly let go and poked it with her fingertip. She found it amusing, like a roly-poly toy, as it quickly returned to its original position, standing slightly bent to the right.

Zhao Jichuan thought she truly had a childish temper. No matter how much adults urged or hurried her, she remained unmoved, entrenched in her own little world, focused on her own affairs.

“Raorao, stop tormenting me,” he said.

Han Rao raised an eyebrow, her face clearly saying “I won’t.” This was the first time she had observed him so closely. She seemed to find a hint of pleasure, a greater pleasure than physical action.

Because she found that a small gesture, even a word, or a change in tone, could make the reserved man crumble.

She finally understood why he enjoyed doing things on the edge, observing and appreciating her facial expressions—her shame, greed, and demands—as he manipulated her. Because in that moment, he felt like a god with the power of life and death.

But today, she rebelled, or rather, she was made a little giddy and spoiled by his words tonight and Han Ting’s.

In his words, she was his most precious treasure. He respected her, doted on her, and silently supported her, letting her do whatever she wanted.

So, she applied more force and poked again. Because of the close distance, the instant rebound hit her chin directly.

Han Rao was a little confused. Was she playing with fire and burning herself? She rubbed her chin, but then heard Zhao Jichuan laugh out loud.

He couldn’t suppress it at all, his laughter making his chest tremble. His gaze fell on her lips, and he calmly remarked, “Serves you right.”

He was actually extremely self-controlled, using laughter to cover up, only then suppressing his destructive urges, suppressing his impulse to pry open her lips.

Han Rao wrinkled her nose, making a comeback. She lowered her head, poked his skin, and then withdrew her finger in disgust, saying, “Zhao Jichuan, it’s so ugly.”

She absolutely evaluated it from an objective, worldly perspective, without any personal bias.

She just found it ugly, she didn’t know why, but the bulging veins always reminded her of the python drawn in the Western fairy tale books she read as a child.

As a child, she felt lucky that it was just a fairy tale, and that giant pythons didn’t exist in real life. Otherwise, such an aggressive and invasive creature would surely have eaten her alive, leaving not even a trace.

Upon hearing this, Zhao Jichuan’s temples throbbed violently. He pressed his lips into a thin line, and large beads of sweat dripped down his jawline, splattering onto the gray sofa cushion.

The smell of alcohol still lingered between the two, now mixed with a seductive fragrance, and faintly discernible notes of sweat, making it somewhat musky and pungent.

The man took a deep breath, watching Han Rao still studying. The next second, he flipped over, grabbed her arm, pulled her up, held her on his lap, and clasped her hands, “Baby, have you played enough?”

Han Rao’s ears flushed red, her eyelashes trembled, and she feigned innocence as she looked at him. Yet, her smile held a hint of provocation, bright and unrestrained, utterly captivating.

She slowly said, “Are you a sore loser? Then I’m not playing with you anymore.”

She really is a little fox.

Zhao Jichuan felt that he used to be able to keep her in a cage and control her, but now he was bewitched by her, and she could even pull a switcheroo on him, trapping him within shackles.

The man wrapped his arm around her waist, lifted her in a bridal carry, and took her back to the bedroom.

The bedroom lights were off, and the curtains only had a small gap, through which light streamed in, dividing his face into two distinct, shadowy halves.

He leaned down and kissed her lips, remarking, “I originally wanted to be an honest man tonight.”

He promised Han Ting he wouldn’t bully her.

Now, he just wanted to bully her until she begged for mercy, to crush her spirit.

Han Rao didn’t understand what he meant. She raised her leg to kick him, but seeing that he was serious, she became afraid that her previous actions would bring about her demise. Her brows furrowed, and she suddenly changed her mind, saying, “I want to take a shower first.”

Just ordered a few stir-fried dishes to go with drinks at the restaurant; they were quite oily. Han Rao felt like if she soaked in them for a night, she’d be completely marinated.

She didn’t even dare to imagine what it would be like if she didn’t shower first; after they were done, it would be the smell of cooking mixed with sweat. That was too horrible.

She had a slight phobia of germs.

Zhao Jichuan grabbed her ankle; this was the second kick he’d received from her today.

He couldn’t remember when she started getting physical. At first, she bit him, then she hit and scratched him with her hands, and later she kicked him.

The man stared at her with deep, dark eyes. She was quick-handed and had a terrible temper, but fortunately, he could keep her in check.

For example, right now, he held both her ankles in one hand and placed them on his right shoulder.

Han Rao felt as if she was hanging off a cliff, with half her body unsupported, desperately grasping at the last straw.

“Zhao Jichuan, let go of me!” She was displeased. This scoundrel, getting out of line just because he had a bit too much to drink.

Zhao Jichuan looked down at her, chuckling softly.

Their gazes met, and Han Rao glared at him. Suddenly remembering something, she said, “You’re not drunk and about to cause trouble, are you?”

The man leaned down and kissed her lips, teasing her with light pecks until she had no fight left, and obediently reached up to wrap her arms around his neck.

He released her ankle, skillfully pried open her lips, and hooked her tongue, kissing her until her scalp tingled and the base of her tongue ached.

Han Rao felt she couldn’t be a pushover anymore. She lightly bit his lip, and he winced and let go of her. She then seized the opportunity, actively pressing her lips against his, but he turned his head away, dodging her.

Han Rao’s attempt was in vain.

She narrowed her eyes, continuing to curse him in her mind. “Is he sick? His flirting skills are so superb. Just when he had her feeling it with his kisses, he suddenly pulled away.”

Having been together for so long, he knew her too well. With just a glance, he could guess that she wasn’t thinking good thoughts.

But, in a moment, you can fill it with something else.

The man pressed close to her ear, pecking her earlobe, and answered her, “I’m not drunk.”

“Huh?” Han Rao raised her hand and pinched his face. “Still pretending! You’re not even drunk, but you can’t walk straight!” She mocked him.

By the end of the drinking, Zhao Jichuan’s reactions were a bit sluggish, a kind of sluggishness Han Rao had never seen before. He was such a shrewd person; she had never seen him reveal such “foolish” bewildered eyes.

When they left the restaurant, he stood up unsteadily. Han Ting saw how drunk he was and, fearing Han Rao couldn’t handle him, specifically followed them back to drop him off.

Zhao Jichuan grabbed her hand, chuckled, and rolled over onto the bed, lying shoulder to shoulder with her. He said, “With your brother’s attitude, he probably wouldn’t have stopped until he got me drunk. White liquor plus beer, who pours drinks like that? Don’t you agree?”

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. “So, I had to pretend to be drunk, otherwise we wouldn’t be coming back tonight.”

Listening to him speak, Han Rao rolled over and bit his lips, defending her younger brother. “Then you’re really good at acting, even more professional than me.”

Zhao Jichuan pulled something out and put it in her hand. “Good girl, hurry up, don’t torment me anymore. I’m very sober right now.”

He whispered in her ear, “I really want to f*** you.”

Han Rao’s hand moved slightly, and after two seconds of thought, she said, “Let’s go to the bathroom then, I really want to take a shower.”

The next second, her lips were sealed.

Han Rao only felt hazy, and before she had time to think, she was in the bathroom, completely naked.

The main light in the bathroom was particularly bright, hanging overhead and glaring.

Han Rao closed her eyes to relieve her vision, only to feel warm water hitting her skin.

Zhao Jichuan trapped her under the shower, drawing a circle around her as if her range of movement could not escape that area.

Han Rao still clutched the silver object in her hand. She raised a hand to wipe the water from her face and tossed the object to him.

Zhao Jichuan exuded a “never give up until the goal is reached” oppressive aura today. He took her hand, opened it, and placed the item back into her palm.

Han Rao instantly understood.

She lowered her eyes, trying to pull her hands apart, but perhaps because her hands were wet and slippery, she struggled for a long time without success.

She couldn’t wait, tearing it open with her teeth, taking it out, and bending down.

Zhao Jichuan seemed afraid she would try the same trick again

He grabbed her wrist, threatening her. She looked up at him, her hair wet, smiling brightly.

The destructive urge in his heart was acting up again. He parted his lips, wanting to say something, to order her around like he used to. But he had never asked her to do anything before, and now he was even more reluctant.

The man struggled for a while, then gave up.

He bent down and picked her up, blocking her lips, and squeezed inside.

Han Rao groaned and laughed in his arms.

She deliberately pressed down on his neck, as if she had something to tell him.

Zhao Jichuan bent down, exerting himself while pressing his ear to her lips.

Han Rao said breathlessly, “So ugly, but I love it.”

Zhao Jichuan immediately understood what she meant and burst out laughing.

Actually, when she first said that, a hint of resentment flashed through his heart, and the next second he really wanted to kill her. Because he truly thought she was disgusted, after all, her tone was very sincere.

He was someone who needed absolute dominance. The more she despised him, the more he wanted her to know that the very thing she despised could make her lose her mind.

The man gently held her waist, hooked her lips, and pressed her against the cold wall.

He seemed to have thought of something, and pulled her away from the wall again.

Han Rao frowned. Without the wall, she only had one point of support, her heart racing, feeling very insecure.

“Zhao Jichuan, put me back.”

He ran his fingers through her damp hair, “It’s too cold, I’m afraid you’ll get a fever.”

Han Rao’s neck suddenly flushed red. She buried her head in his arms, not saying a word.

She wouldn’t tell him that the last time she joined the crew, Vivi asked her why she was still sick, and she kept silent.

Because she didn’t dare to say that her throat had been sore and inflamed for the past two days, and as a result, she had a fever due to excessive indulgence.

Then she would be too embarrassed.

She’s still a celebrity, no matter how obscure, and she still has her pride.

“But that’s not right either.” She resisted, feeling the floor was especially slippery with water, as if she would fall the next second.

Zhao Jichuan tightly gripped her waist, “Don’t be afraid, I’m here.”

Han Rao only felt the world spinning. Having no other choice, she angrily hugged his neck.

She thought, he was truly detestable. He was the one who made her lose her balance, and he was also the one who gave her her only sense of security.

That night was truly long, so long that one’s memory is no longer complete, leaving only fragmented scenes.

When Han Rao lay in bed, she looked at the ceiling and thought. She only remembered the strong smell of alcohol, the burning body temperature, the misty air, the disordered breathing, and the endless pleasure.

The man, dressed in loungewear, sat by the bed, tucked her into the covers, found a box of cigarettes, tapped one out, and asked her if she wanted one.

Han Rao nodded and then shook her head, clutching the quilt and looking at him.

Zhao Jichuan had just put a cigarette in his mouth when he took it out again, touching her face. “Do you want it or not? What’s wrong?”

She said, “I should smoke less in the future. My nicotine addiction has gotten worse since I’ve been with you.”

She used to smoke for acting, and wasn’t addicted. She would only light one up when she was agitated or depressed, just to smell the nicotine.

After getting to know him, we’d definitely share a cigarette on nights we were together, sometimes half a one, because the two of them would share a single one.

Han Rao felt this wasn’t good, not good for her throat, and lines were very important to an actor, so she had to protect them.

Zhao Jichuan looked down at the cigarette, then abruptly tossed it aside. “Then wouldn’t I be more guilty if I made you inhale second-hand smoke?”

Han Rao: “You smoke, I don’t mind.”

“Then forget it.”

Zhao Jichuan actually didn’t have a big smoking habit. He used to live a life of abstinence and self-control, not indulging excessively. However, after meeting her, both of these things were completely overturned.

Especially the latter, it was indulgence to the extreme. If it weren’t for only two today, they wouldn’t have been able to discuss whether or not to smoke so quickly and peacefully.

Zhao Jichuan thought about it. He could smoke less, or even quit, after all, this was just a snack after a big meal.

But he couldn’t quit.

He liked her out of instinct; otherwise, he wouldn’t have impulsively taken her away at first.

To put it perversely, the first time he saw her, he wanted to sleep with her.

Seeing him toss the cigarette pack aside, Han Rao smiled, moved over, and lifted the covers, inviting him in.

Habit is truly terrifying. Han Rao used to be so independent that she wouldn’t even let anyone encroach on her personal space, but now, if there isn’t someone beside her when she sleeps, she feels an emptiness in her heart.

Zhao Jichuan glanced at the time; it was almost three o’clock. It was time to sleep; if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to get up in the morning.

So he got into bed, turned off the bedside lamp, and held her in his arms.

Although Han Rao was very tired, she couldn’t fall asleep. Full of worries, she had no desire to sleep, so she fumbled in the dark, sometimes pinching his hand, sometimes poking his abs.

Zhao Jichuan smiled, “Something to say?”

Han Rao: “Are you mad or not?”

She felt that his behavior didn’t seem angry, but logically, Han Ting had been making a fuss all night, so he should have been angry.

“What’s there to be angry about?” He stroked her hair. “I couldn’t be happier.”

“What’s there to be happy about? Did you sleep with me?”

After all, he was really indulgent tonight.

Zhao Jichuan heard this and felt his words catch in his throat. He hadn’t thought she was stupid before, but now it seemed her mind sometimes just didn’t turn.

“Figure it out yourself,” he said. Closing his eyes, ready to sleep, he then threatened her, “Don’t even think about sleeping if you can’t figure it out.”

Han Rao blinked, staring at the dark ceiling, seemingly deep in thought.

He couldn’t really be happy just because he had a good drink with Han Ting, that would be too ridiculous.

It’s simply preposterous.

But then he thought: Why not?

Why couldn’t it be because he liked her, and out of love for her, he extended that love to her brother, accommodating him so much?

She could clearly feel his change.