Chapter 9

Song Jianan had always been in the habit of staying late at the newspaper office before heading up alone to the rooftop terrace. Beneath her feet lay the bustling commercial district, glowing as the city lights came alive. The entire city stretched out before her like a sea of lights, dazzling and prosperous.

She loved watching the lights flicker through the night. Somehow, it always gave her a sense of peace and reassurance amid the pressure and chaos of work.

The sharp click of high heels sounded behind her, crisp and confident. Without even turning around, Song Jianan smiled.

“Zeng Shuyi, it’s already after work. Why aren’t you heading home? Don’t tell me the handsome guy from the sports section is still there?”

The beautiful woman smiled faintly. “Can’t I just come to see you? Don’t make me sound like some lovestruck fangirl. I heard you’re about to transfer to the entertainment section. So what? Planning to become a paparazzo now?”

“Paparazzo? Why make it sound so awful?” Song Jianan shook her head helplessly. “Working the social news beat is exhausting. Every day it’s either fires or people jumping off buildings. Even the police at the station look at us like we’re a nuisance. Unlike you people in the business section, who spend your days eating, drinking, and attending events. We’re all journalists, so why do people look down on us while putting you on a pedestal? We’re all full-time employees. Why are your bonuses higher than ours? We’re all doing the same profession, so why does covering business sound a hundred times more respectable than covering society?”

Zeng Shuyi burst into laughter and patted her shoulder.

“All right, if you’re that jealous of us, then why did you immediately choose the social section when the editor-in-chief asked where you wanted to go? He even praised you for wanting to work on the front lines and experience real life.”

“I must’ve had lard clogging my brain back then,” Song Jianan grumbled indignantly. “Why didn’t I pick Car Enthusiast World instead? Fancy cars and beautiful women every day. Or maybe Human Interest Stories. Easy work and much more practical.”

“Okay, okay. You’re finally about to escape. You’ll hand everything over next week. Oh right, I heard Liang Jingru is holding a concert in October. Remember to get me her autograph.”

“And Zhang Xueyou’s Snow Wolf Lake starts in November. Save me two tickets. Then in December that bestselling female novelist is doing a book signing—I want a signed copy. During Spring Festival, when you’re interviewing at CCTV, make sure to take plenty of photos of Jay Chou.”

Song Jianan nearly fainted.

“Zeng Shuyi! You’re pushing your luck!”

After finally sending Zeng Shuyi away, Song Jianan returned to the office. The intern from the political news section was still working under the desk lamp. Seeing her, he smiled.

“Jianan, you’re still here?”

She pointed at the PHS phone on her desk.

“I’m on duty. Citizen hotline.”

The intern sighed.

“The department head said you people in the social section have it the hardest. Good thing I didn’t choose it back then. By the way, do you want some steamed cakes? There are two left—one with red date paste and one with black sesame.”

“No thanks. I’m leaving soon anyway. I heard your political section is getting reorganized. You all seem pretty busy lately.”

Before the intern could answer, the PHS phone suddenly began vibrating violently across the desk.

Startled, Song Jianan hurriedly answered.

“Hello, this is City Evening News, citizen hotline. What news tip would you like to report?”

Strong gusts of wind roared through the receiver. The caller spoke Mandarin mixed with a thick local dialect, and the poor signal caused the call to break up repeatedly.

“A student at No. 3 High School jumped off a building!”

The police officers at the local station were as irritating as ever. After shamelessly pressing them for information, she finally pieced together the whole story.

A female sophomore had been suspected of being in a relationship. After her teacher informed her parents, the girl had jumped from the fourth floor of the dormitory building in protest. She was still in the hospital receiving emergency treatment.

Song Jianan immediately called the principal of No. 3 High School to verify the incident, but no one answered.

She let out a heavy sigh.

“What happened?” the intern asked curiously.

“A female high school student jumps to her death over love. That’s quite the sensational headline, isn’t it?” Song Jianan pulled over a chair, sat down, and turned on her computer. “Looks like I’m writing another article tonight. This will definitely make tomorrow’s social section. Then there’ll be follow-up reports, and before long it’ll probably turn into another major social issue.”

“What social issue?”

As she typed, she answered, “The topic of teenage romance never goes away. Most people firmly oppose it, but perhaps we should examine it more reasonably, objectively, and dialectically from the perspective of society’s development.”

The intern chuckled.

“Jianan, you’re funny. By the way… were you ever in a relationship back in high school?” He put down his manuscript with a mischievous grin. “I was. Sneaking around made it really exciting.”

Song Jianan laughed.

“Did it work out? I’m guessing it didn’t.”

“We broke up ages ago. Can you even call that love? Back then, the more our parents and teachers forbade something, the more we wanted to do it. Hey, don’t change the subject. Did you ever have a high school romance or not?”

A faint ripple stirred in her heart.

She smiled, answering with complete sincerity.

“No. Really, I never had a high school romance. Actually… I hardly even dated at all.”

By the time she finished writing and submitted the article to the editorial office, it was already after ten o’clock at night.

As she stepped out of the newspaper building, even this bustling metropolis seemed tinged with exhaustion beneath the darkness. The autumn breeze carried a slight chill.

Out of habit, she pursed her lips. The wind blew her bangs into her eyes, and several strands poked painfully at them. Tears instantly streamed down her face from the wind.

Suddenly, she felt utterly exhausted.

She had been working as a social news reporter for more than half a year now, yet she constantly felt powerless.

Maybe she was getting older.

No matter how sharp one’s ambitions were, society would gradually wear them away.

Song Jianan let out a long breath and quietly told herself that it would be over soon.

These days… they were really coming to an end.

As for what came afterward…

She had no idea.

When Song Jianan returned home, she had no energy to cook. She bought two steamed buns from the neighborhood supermarket. There was still half a pot of chicken soup left at home, so she used it to make a bowl of instant noodles.

She happily ate until she was full, then collapsed onto the sofa without wanting to move another inch.

She didn’t even want to touch her computer, so she turned on the television instead.

On the screen, men and women acted out another melodramatic tale of love, hatred, and heartbreak. A spoiled, willful girl sat on the floor crying hysterically.

“I like you! I love you! Why can’t you love me back?”

The man replied, “I’m sorry. I’ve always loved her. I’ve liked her since I was in middle school.”

Song Jianan couldn’t help laughing.

She hugged a cushion and shifted into a more comfortable position. Suddenly, as if remembering something, she picked up her phone and dialed a number.

“Mom, are you asleep yet?”

Her mother also seemed to be watching television.

“No. Your father just got back from a dinner gathering. I’m making him some porridge.”

“Oh. Tell Dad to eat out less. Those meals are all high in fat and protein. Oh, Mom, let me ask you something.”

“Go ahead.”

Song Jianan cleared her throat and asked casually,

“Mom… what would you have done if I’d dated someone back in high school?”

Her mother answered without the slightest hesitation.

“What could I have done? If you’d really dared to date back then, I’d have broken your legs, thrown you out of the house, and never acknowledged you as my daughter again!”

Song Jianan nearly jumped.

“Oh my goodness, Mom! That’s way too harsh!”

“What? Was I supposed to welcome your puppy love with open arms?” Her mother snorted. “Jianan, don’t tell me you’ve started seeing someone and you’re using ‘high school romance’ to test my reaction. You’re already grown up now. Your love life is your own decision.”

Song Jianan hurriedly denied it.

“Of course not. It’s just that today a girl jumped off a building because her teacher found out she was dating and her parents forbade it. It just got me thinking.”

Her mother clearly wasn’t convinced.

“I don’t believe you. Jianan, tell me honestly. Did you have a secret romance back then? Has your first love suddenly come back to rekindle old feelings? Are you worried I won’t approve?”

She was completely speechless.

“Mom, you’ve watched too many TV dramas. Nothing like that happened. I was such an innocent person back then. How could I possibly have had a high school romance? Anyway, I’m hanging up.”

“Wait, I’m not finished yet. Your grandfather’s seventieth birthday is next week. Don’t forget.”

“I know. I’m hanging up now. You and Dad should get some rest.”

The dim yellow light spilled across the floor.

The television couple continued their endless love story, but Song Jianan’s thoughts had already drifted far away.

Suddenly, she burst into laughter and muttered to herself,

“High school romance… I had a secret crush long before that. I wonder if that counts.”

A familiar yet strangely distant feeling slowly surfaced from the depths of her heart.

Something she had deliberately buried for years had been accidentally brought back to life.

The emotions that made her want to surrender to those memories while desperately avoiding every painful detail left her momentarily at a loss.

She hurried into her bedroom, intending to pull a photograph from the very bottom drawer.

But the edge of the photo was caught.

Just then, the doorbell rang at the worst possible moment.

Startled, Song Jianan rushed to open the door.

Someone outside shouted loudly,

“Jianan! Open up! It’s me, Song Rui!”

She quickly unlocked the door.

A small head poked inside.

“There’s no man here, right? Do you have anything to eat?”

Song Jianan coughed lightly.

“Song Rui, did you argue with your mom again? Running away from home in the middle of the night?”

Song Rui flashed a flattering smile and walked inside without hesitation.

“My mom nags way too much. I can’t stand her. I’m a teenage girl in the prime of high school, yet I have to spend every day with a menopausal woman. My nerves are going to give out.”

Song Jianan was instantly speechless.

She turned off the television before asking seriously,

“So what was it this time?”

“My mom went through my things, checked my text messages, and then yelled at me. I couldn’t stand it, so I ran away. Jianan, how can she do that? If this were America, I’d sue her for violating my privacy.”

Song Jianan patted the girl’s head and replied calmly,

“Save it. This is China. What your mom did wasn’t right, but weren’t we all raised that way? What can you do? You’re still relying on your parents to support you.”

“I’ll get a job and earn my own money. I don’t need her to support me!”

“You’re young, but your confidence is enormous. Do you really think earning money is that easy? I don’t know whether to call you brave or naive. But what exactly was in those text messages? You’re still a kid, yet you’ve already got quite a lot on your mind.”

Song Rui pouted.

“It was just classmates sending random messages. And she saw one where I said I liked a boy. Honestly, dating now isn’t even considered early romance anymore. Besides, I’m not even dating him yet. She’s already acting like the sky is falling. There are couples everywhere at school. If she saw that, she’d probably lose her mind.”

“I’ve got nothing left to say. Kids these days are way too complicated.” Song Jianan sighed. “Enough chatting. I’ll call your mom. You can stay here tonight. Go wash up, and afterward we’ll have a proper talk.”

She called her uncle’s house to let them know Song Rui would be staying with her for the night, comforting her aunt for a while.

Then she went into the bedroom to find Song Rui.

The girl was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at something.

Song Jianan leaned over, and Song Rui immediately said,

“Jianan, I never expected you to have such an impressive past! Who’s this guy? He’s really handsome!”

Song Jianan realized she had never truly looked at him carefully.

In her memories, he had always been the same—quietly handsome, distant, reserved, somewhat melancholy, and impossibly out of reach.

But in the photograph, he was smiling.

His eyes and brows were unexpectedly gentle. The slight curve of his lips carried a warm smile that lingered beautifully. Like every other high school student back then, he looked youthful, innocent, and sincere.

Holding the photograph in her hands, a smile spread across her face like ripples on water.

“Heh… we were really so young back then.”

Song Rui refused to let it go, tugging at her arm.

“Tell me who he is! Come on!”

“Su Li.” Song Jianan smiled faintly. “He was one of the most outstanding boys in our school. Everyone knew him.”

“Oh, a guy like him?” Song Rui stared fixedly at the photograph. “If he were at my school today, tons of girls would be chasing him. What a shame… born in the wrong era.”

Song Jianan didn’t answer.

After a long while, she slowly stood up and carefully returned the photograph to the drawer.

“So many girls liked him… but he only ever liked one person.”

Her voice was so soft that no one but herself could hear it.

In truth, those words were meant for herself alone.