Chapter 7

The late autumn rain had continued for several days without stopping.

Left with no other choice, Song Jianan took the bus to school.

It seemed as though everyone in the entire school had made the same decision. The small bus was packed from front to back with high school students, all wearing the same school uniform.

With so many classmates squeezed together, conversation naturally became lively.

The two girls standing beside Song Jianan chatted idly before drifting onto school gossip.

One of them said, “Did you hear? Xiao Fan from Class Twelve found another girlfriend at a different school. I heard the girl’s family has some influence outside school. Apparently, she’s from quite a powerful background.”

“That guy is way too flirtatious.” The other girl shook her head before lowering her voice. “By the way, have you heard that Su Li from Class Eight seems to be dating Qin Yuan Yuan? They’re pretty open about it. Even the teachers don’t seem to care.”

“What? Seriously? Su Li? Are you sure you’re talking about that Su Li?”

“Of course. Who else would I mean? I heard all the girls in their class were heartbroken. They’re saying if they’d confessed earlier, maybe they would’ve had a chance.”

The bus stopped.

There was still a short walk to school.

People hurried along the streets beneath umbrellas as muddy water splashed from passing cars, catching pedestrians off guard.

Everyone continued along their own path.

No one noticed the girl standing by the roadside, looking completely lost.

Song Jianan silently opened her umbrella and slowly walked toward the school.

The rain suddenly became heavier.

The wind grew colder.

Amid the bustling noise of the city, she could still hear the sound of something inside her quietly shattering.

Not far ahead, two figures approached the school gate from the opposite direction.

Su Li, dressed in his formal school uniform, held an umbrella above his head.

A faint smile rested between his brows.

Walking beside him was a girl wearing a light purple padded jacket over her sports uniform. She was gesturing animatedly as she spoke.

Although they intentionally kept a little distance between them, they were clearly walking together.

Looking more carefully, Song Jianan recognized the girl.

It was Qin Yuan Yuan—the beautiful girl she’d seen during the scholarship ceremony.

Su Li’s refined, handsome features…

Qin Yuan Yuan’s radiant smile…

Within the misty curtain of rain…

The roar of traffic suddenly vanished from Song Jianan’s ears.

Everything in the distance blurred into a soft haze.

Her mind stopped working.

It felt as though she had been deceived.

The sweetest candy she had ever tasted had suddenly turned into deadly poison.

Like a clown desperately performing beneath dazzling stage lights until tears streamed down his face…

Only to realize there had never been a single audience watching.

When a dream belongs to only one person…

When all its brilliance is crushed by reality…

What remains is a sadness too deep for either tears or laughter.

Song Jianan sat blankly through class.

Not a single word the teacher said reached her ears.

Behind her, a boy was secretly reading a martial arts novel.

She knocked lightly on his desk.

“Can I borrow it?”

The boy looked at her in surprise.

After hesitating for a moment, he reluctantly handed over a well-worn copy.

“Be careful. Don’t let the teacher see it.”

In The Cold Crow’s Calamity, just before Xu Huiye died, he confessed to the woman he had wronged his entire life.

> “A-Xiu, I’ve failed you in so many ways. If there’s another life, I truly wish to become your husband and treat you sincerely. Maybe you don’t want to hear it… but that’s honestly how I feel.”

Lian Xiuren simply replied,

> “I only wish that in every lifetime to come… we never meet again.”

Without warning…

Tears poured from Song Jianan’s eyes.

Flustered, she hurriedly searched for tissues, wiping them away while pretending she had a cold.

She tried to compose herself.

Looking up, she realized the Chinese teacher was still talking passionately at the front of the room, completely unaware that she was speaking to an audience of one.

That only made Song Jianan want to cry even more.

Nothing had really happened.

And yet…

There were simply too many emotions inside her that needed somewhere to escape.

Even after class ended, she remained buried in the novel.

The more she read, the harder it became to put it down.

The class monitor walked over and gently patted her shoulder.

“Song Jianan, the homeroom teacher wants you in the office.”

Startled, she quickly stuffed the novel into her desk.

“Got it.”

The path to the teachers’ office inevitably passed by Class Eight.

Normally…

It was Song Jianan’s favorite route.

Today…

She wished she didn’t have to walk it at all.

She kept telling herself,

Don’t look inside.

Don’t look.

But reason couldn’t control the corner of her eye.

The tiny sliver of hope still lingering in her heart betrayed her.

Qin Yuan Yuan was standing beside Su Li’s desk.

She was smiling brightly.

Su Li happened to have his back toward the window, so Song Jianan couldn’t see his expression.

But she instinctively imagined…

He must be smiling too.

The sight pierced her heart.

Jealousy…

Inferiority…

Every insecurity she’d buried deep inside herself wove together into a dense net, trapping her completely.

The final flicker of affection she still held for him resembled a candle struggling against a violent storm.

One more raindrop…

One more gust of wind…

And it would be extinguished forever.

Leaving behind nothing but smoke…

And ashes.

Song Jianan didn’t hear a single word her homeroom teacher said.

She vaguely understood that the teacher was once again persuading her not to stubbornly choose the science track, warning that she would regret it.

Her thoughts remained filled with images of Su Li and Qin Yuan Yuan.

Only after the teacher had finished speaking did Song Jianan slowly bite her lip.

Her voice was calm.

Yet completely resolute.

“Teacher… I’ve decided to choose the humanities.”

Yes.

The humanities.

She would move into the humanities building.

From then on…

She would no longer have any connection with Su Li.

She wouldn’t have to watch him smiling so happily at another girl ever again.

Song Jianan smiled faintly.

Her one-sided secret love had dragged Su Li into a world that existed only in her imagination.

None of this…

Had ever had anything to do with him.

Had it?

After school, she deliberately stayed behind until almost everyone had left.

Holding her umbrella, she slowly walked toward the bus stop.

The warm yellow streetlights stretched endlessly before her.

Rainwater shimmered in puddles beneath them.

Without realizing it, she took out her phone.

With trembling fingers, she slowly navigated to the text message screen.

She bit her lip.

After hesitating for a long time…

Snap.

She firmly closed the phone.

Decisive.

Final.

Taking a long breath, she slung her backpack over her shoulder and slowly walked toward the bus stop.

She mocked herself silently.

What else am I still hoping to do?

One bus after another drove past, sending sprays of water into the air.

Under the headlights, raindrops slanted through the night, so hazy they looked like tiny spirits dancing in the light.

Someone called her name from behind.

Turning around, she saw Duan Jiachen.

He stood beside her.

The bottoms of his school uniform pants were already soaked.

Clear droplets slid from the hair covering his forehead.

Without speaking, he simply stared at the bus stop sign.

An awkward silence settled between them.

Song Jianan wasn’t in the mood to talk either.

Only when the bus slowly pulled into the station did Duan Jiachen finally ask quietly,

“I heard… you chose the humanities?”

Song Jianan lowered her head awkwardly.

Pretending to check whether the bus had arrived, she hurriedly searched for her bus pass.

“Yeah… the bus is here.”

A flood of passengers surged aboard.

After struggling to steady herself, Duan Jiachen squeezed over beside her.

His voice was low.

Cold.

Rigid.

“Why didn’t you choose science?”

“Why did you suddenly change your mind?”

Song Jianan forced a faint smile.

How was she supposed to answer that?

How could she possibly explain?

She simply shook her head.

“No particular reason. I just thought… studying the humanities might be pretty good.”

Duan Jiachen didn’t say another word.

He turned toward the rain-streaked window.

The streetlights dissolved into the mist outside, unreal and dreamlike.

Just like Song Jianan’s answer.

It always felt as though she was merely brushing him off.

An overwhelming sense of disappointment gripped him.

It wasn’t only because she was about to leave.

It was because she had never once shared her decisions with him.

The more he wanted to understand her…

The farther away she seemed.

She was like an unsolvable mystery.

The more he tried to figure her out…

The less he understood.

After returning home, Song Jianan remained in a terrible mood.

She snapped back at her mother several times during dinner.

Her mother’s temper flared immediately, launching into an endless lecture.

Song Jianan only felt a heavy pressure in her chest.

It became difficult to breathe.

Stacks of exam papers and reference books covered her desk.

Without warning, she swept them violently onto the floor.

Then she slowly picked them up one by one…

Carefully smoothing out every crease…

Before finally sitting silently on the floor.

Outside, the sky was dark.

The rain seemed to have stopped.

Only scattered lights remained among the apartment buildings.

Darkness stretched endlessly into the distance.

It seemed as though the night itself had no end.

Suddenly…

She missed Su Li.

More than ever before.

The quiet, handsome boy with the melancholy eyes completely filled her thoughts.

Unable to stop herself, Song Jianan grabbed her phone and dialed his number.

She knew exactly what she was doing.

Even her hands were trembling.

Holding her breath, she quietly waited for the ringing to end.

Then Su Li answered.

His voice was as calm and polite as ever.

“Hello.”

Her mind went completely blank.

She couldn’t think of a single word to say.

Perhaps sensing something…

He didn’t hang up either.

For a moment…

The entire world fell silent.

She opened her mouth.

But no sound came out.

Her thoughts contained nothing except Su Li’s face…

And the smile she had never truly seen.

Everything that had once made her quietly happy…

Everything sweet…

Was crushed completely.

Only then did she realize…

She had already fallen so deeply in love with him.

Tears poured uncontrollably from her eyes.

They slipped through her fingers…

Ran down her chin…

Her neck…

Even onto her arms and legs.

She bit her lip.

Unable to speak.

She simply cried in silence.

Then…

She ended the call.

Slowly removed the SIM card from her phone…

And gently placed it inside her drawer.

Locking away…

The last trace of youthful love…

And the last fragment of her pride.

Forever.

There had never been fairy tales in this world.

There had never been a Cinderella.

There was only a Cinderella living inside her own imagination.

At that moment…

She finally understood.

A secret crush…

Was always…

A game played by only one person.

Beneath the dim yellow streetlights…

Snowflakes quietly began to fall among the lingering raindrops.

The last sorrow hidden deep within her heart was slowly swallowed by winter.

Eventually…

Both tears and heartbreak would be worn smooth by life until they became colorless and pale.

She would become the same.

Pale.

The love scattered across the ground in her memories departed together with the early autumn.

What remained…

Were only the traces of something that had once existed.