Chapter 74

Fan Changyu quickly set down the bowl and patted his back.

“How did you choke on it?”

It would have been better if she hadn’t.

The moment she patted him, Xie Zheng bent over the edge of the bed and coughed up a mouthful of dark-red blood.

Fan Changyu was terrified.

She looked at her hand, then at Xie Zheng, before turning toward the tent entrance and shouting at the top of her lungs,

“Military Physician! Quick, get the Military Physician! Someone’s coughing up blood!”

The personal guard stationed outside immediately lifted the tent flap.

The moment he saw the blood on the ground, he sprinted after the military physician, who had only recently left.

The other wounded soldiers in the tent began discussing it among themselves.

Some said Xie Zheng might be experiencing a final flash of vitality before death.

Others told Fan Changyu not to panic and to wait until the physician examined him.

Using a handkerchief, Fan Changyu hastily wiped the blood from the corner of Xie Zheng’s mouth.

One hand gripped his tightly as she muttered repeatedly,

“It’s alright… it’s alright…”

No one knew whether she was saying it for his sake or her own.

For days, a mouthful of stagnant blood had been lodged in Xie Zheng’s chest.

This violent coughing fit had finally forced it out.

The suffocating pressure in his chest instantly eased, and even his breathing became much smoother.

The only problem was that the force of the coughing had likely pulled at his wound.

A faint red stain was already seeping through the bandages again.

He glanced at Fan Changyu’s hand, which was tightly clasping his.

His lips, previously drained of color, had gained a touch of vivid redness from coughing up blood, making his already pale face appear even more fragile and heartbreaking.

Lowering his eyes slightly, he asked weakly,

“You want to divorce me?”

Fan Changyu’s eyes immediately filled with tears.

“No divorce! No divorce!”

Her voice was choked with emotion.

“You only got taken away by the army because you married into my family! If we’d talked properly that day and you’d signed the divorce papers, the soldiers wouldn’t have taken you away, and you wouldn’t have ended up injured like this!”

She sniffled and continued,

“Don’t be afraid. You’re already like this—I’m not going to abandon you. I thought everything through on the way here. If you die here, I’ll collect your body. Your family is already gone. In the future, during every festival and holiday, I’ll make offerings for you and burn incense…”

By the time she reached the end, she was clearly terrified that he might actually die.

Large tears fell one after another onto the blanket, leaving small damp marks behind.

A hand suddenly pressed against her back.

Before she could react, she was pulled into an embrace carrying the scents of blood and medicinal herbs.

Afraid of pressing against his injuries, Fan Changyu immediately pushed against his shoulders, trying to move away.

But Xie Zheng tightened his arms even more firmly around her.

He held her so tightly there wasn’t the slightest gap between them.

Resting his chin on her trembling shoulder, he said hoarsely,

“Don’t move.”

Terrified of worsening his injuries, she immediately stopped struggling.

Yet her chest felt unbearably heavy with unfamiliar emotions.

Tears rolled down uncontrollably and soaked into the fabric covering his shoulder.

Xie Zheng said,

“Don’t cry. The fact that you came looking for me makes me very happy.”

After a brief pause, he added,

“About that day… I’m sorry.”

Fan Changyu knew exactly what he meant.

She pressed her lips together and was about to respond when the tent flap was suddenly thrown open.

The personal guard rushed in with the military physician.

Worried something might have happened to Xie Zheng, Gongsun Yin had followed as well.

The moment they saw the scene before them, everyone froze.

Their expressions varied greatly.

Hearing the commotion, Fan Changyu turned around.

Only then did she realize that the other wounded soldiers in the tent were also staring at them without blinking.

Her face instantly flushed red.

She hurriedly pushed Xie Zheng back onto the bed.

The movement was so abrupt that he let out a muffled groan.

Embarrassed, Fan Changyu quickly withdrew her hands.

“Did I hurt you?”

Xie Zheng’s face was pale, but he still answered,

“I’m fine.”

One of the veteran soldiers laughed and helped ease the awkwardness.

“The young couple just went through a brush with life and death. They’re still shaken!”

The other wounded soldiers chuckled good-naturedly.

The military physician stepped forward and asked about the blood-coughing episode.

After examining Xie Zheng’s pulse again, he didn’t dare make any bold claims.

“It stems from physical weakness. His vitality has been severely depleted. He needs nourishment and proper recuperation.”

“Weakness, huh…”

Gongsun Yin shot Xie Zheng a teasing look.

Rubbing his chin, he said,

“Have the kitchen prepare some meat dishes for the wounded soldiers. Everyone should replenish their strength properly.”

The injured men in the tent immediately burst into grateful thanks.

Gongsun Yin continued,

“Those with severe injuries and those with minor injuries should be separated into different tents. It’ll also make it easier for the physicians to prepare medicine.”

As he spoke, he pointed directly at Xie Zheng.

“The soldiers built several new tents this afternoon for the Jizhou troops who came up the mountain. They’re not far from here. Move this man to one of the new tents.”

Xie Zheng shot him a cold look.

Gongsun Yin merely grinned mischievously in return.

Since Xie Zheng was seriously injured, several personal guards disguised as ordinary soldiers simply carried him—bed and all—to the newly erected tent.

Fan Changyu followed.

To her surprise, although the tent contained numerous military beds, no one else was staying there yet.

Gongsun Yin explained that severely injured soldiers discovered later would gradually be moved there as well.

When Fan Changyu left to help collect meals from the kitchen for the wounded soldiers, Gongsun Yin finally sat down across from Xie Zheng on another military bed.

Raising an eyebrow, he asked,

“Should I arrange a separate tent for that girl, or should I let her stay here with you?”

Xie Zheng had just finished a bowl of medicine and still found the taste unpleasantly bitter.

He sat up, poured himself a cup of water, and drank it.

Holding the cup, he lowered his eyes in thought for a moment.

“Arrange another place for her.”

Gongsun Yin smiled.

“That works too. I almost forgot—I still have that little brat staying with me.”

His grin widened.

“Now that her older sister is here, the two sisters can stay together.”

Recalling what he had seen earlier when he entered the tent, he couldn’t resist teasing him.

“That spear wound was worth it. The girl cried for you. How could she possibly not care about you?”

Halfway through speaking, however, his expression changed.

Looking at Xie Zheng, he said,

“After Sui Yuanqing learned about her relationship with you, he immediately thought of kidnapping her sister to threaten you. If Wei Yan hears the news as well…”

He didn’t need to finish.

Both men knew exactly what Wei Yan was capable of.

Xie Zheng’s fingers tightened around the ceramic cup.

“Seal off today’s events. Not a single word is to leave this camp.”

Gongsun Yin nodded.

“The only people who know are the military physician and your personal guards. Those guards were personally promoted by you, and their mouths are tight. I’ve already warned the physician and secretly arranged for people to watch him these past few days. Nothing will happen.”

He paused.

“The only issue is those wounded soldiers. They all know that the girl came looking for you. If they ever discover your true identity, things could become troublesome.”

“Then keep it hidden for now.”

Gongsun Yin nodded.

“What about Miss Fan?”

Xie Zheng half-lifted his eyelids.

“I’ll find an opportunity to explain everything to her myself.”

“As long as you have a plan.”

After Gongsun Yin left, Xie Zheng remained lying there with one arm behind his head, staring blankly at the tent ceiling for a long time.

He wasn’t certain that Fan Changyu would still choose to stay with him once she learned the truth.

She would accept the penniless Yan Zheng.

But she might not choose Xie Zheng—the man burdened by a blood-soaked vendetta.

Much of her current kindness stemmed from guilt.

She believed he had joined the army only to spare her and the neighboring families from trouble.

Once she learned he had intended to return to the military anyway, that guilt would vanish completely.

He also knew how much she cared about Changning.

Yet because of him, her sister had fallen into the hands of villains and nearly lost her life.

Would she blame him?

He didn’t know.

What he did know was that if she chose to stay by his side, similar dangers would likely continue in the future.

Given her nature, she would probably draw a clear line between them simply to ensure that Changning could live safely and peacefully.

Fan Changyu liked tranquility.

Just as she had once said, she wanted to find an honest and dependable scholar as a husband and live a simple, uneventful life.

The affection she currently showed him felt stolen.

And every thief was eventually exposed.

He understood the consequences.

Yet when he remembered the way she cried while looking at him and recalled everything she had said, the flesh and blood within his chest trembled uncontrollably.

Never before had he wanted something so desperately.

And never before had he feared losing something so much.

For one fleeting moment, Xie Zheng even wished that he truly were only Yan Zheng.

In the end, a bitterly self-mocking smile tugged at his lips.

—

When Fan Changyu returned carrying food, she found Xie Zheng lying there with one arm draped over his eyes, seemingly asleep.

As she approached, however, he lowered his arm and looked at her.

She smiled.

“You’re awake! The kitchen caught a lot of wild chickens and made chicken soup for the wounded soldiers. Hurry and drink it while it’s hot.”

Holding a large bowl in one hand, she helped him sit up with the other.

Due to blood loss, Xie Zheng’s complexion was unnaturally pale.

Dark circles shadowed his eyes from days without sleep.

Yet his features were so strikingly handsome that even in such a haggard state, he possessed a kind of fragile beauty.

Once he was propped against the pillow, he intended to take the bowl himself.

Instead, Fan Changyu scooped up a spoonful and held it to his lips, just as she had done when feeding him medicine earlier.

Xie Zheng hesitated.

Then he opened his mouth and drank.

Almost immediately, he frowned imperceptibly.

It was scorching hot.

But Fan Changyu didn’t seem to notice at all.

After all, she had never fed anyone medicine or soup before.

When her parents died, Changning had already been five years old and didn’t need help eating or taking medicine.

The earlier medicinal broth had cooled long ago.

This soup had only just come from the kitchen, and because the bowl was wooden, she couldn’t easily sense the temperature.

When the second spoonful reached his lips, Xie Zheng hesitated as though wanting to say something.

In the end, he drank it anyway.

Then he reached for the bowl.

“I’ll do it myself.”

Seeing how sickly he looked, Fan Changyu’s heart softened.

She refused to hand it over.

Stirring the soup with the spoon, she scooped up another spoonful.

“You’re badly injured. Just rest. I’ll feed you.”

Looking at the steaming spoonful before him, Xie Zheng ultimately resigned himself and drank it.

By the time the entire bowl of chicken soup was finished, his tongue had practically been scalded numb.

Meanwhile, looking at the empty bowl, Fan Changyu felt an inexplicable sense of accomplishment.

She was taking such good care of him!

When Xie Zheng tried to pour himself a cup of cold tea, she hurried to do it for him.

Handing it over, she asked in confusion,

“You just finished a whole bowl of chicken soup. Are you still thirsty?”

Xie Zheng casually made up an excuse.

“The smell is a little strong. I want to wash the taste away.”

There was still a little soup left in the bottom of the bowl.

Fan Changyu tasted it.

Her face immediately twisted.

There wasn’t any salt in it at all.

The fishy taste was almost unbearable.

Frowning, she said,

“The kitchen must have been too busy and forgotten to add salt. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Xie Zheng was silent for a moment.

His expression turned serious.

“There is no salt.”

Fan Changyu froze.

Then she immediately understood.

This army had originally planned to fight a battle and retreat.

They hadn’t even prepared sufficient provisions, much less salt.

The reinforcements from Jizhou had brought only food and medicine.

Here, survival itself was a luxury.

Who cared whether the food tasted good?

Before coming up the mountain, Old Tao had already explained the situation to her.

First-Line Gorge was close to Chongzhou.

After Prince Changxin’s defeat at Lucheng, he had staked everything on surrounding the gorge, intending to starve the Yanzhou army atop the mountain into desperation.

The recent days of heavy rain had drowned fifty thousand of Prince Changxin’s troops.

However, it had also left many soldiers on the mountain sick from exposure.

Prince Changxin knew that Tang Peiyi’s siege of Chongzhou had mostly been a feint.

Therefore, he had withdrawn only half of the troops at the mountain’s base as a precaution.

Even so, twenty thousand Chongzhou soldiers still remained below.

If the army descended now, even with the assistance of the two or three thousand reinforcements still operating outside, it would be like throwing eggs against a stone.

Fan Changyu didn’t know what would happen once the food ran out.

Looking at Xie Zheng, she said seriously,

“Don’t worry. I’ve heard that the Marquis of Wuan is a brilliant strategist. He’s won so many battles. There’s no way he’ll just let himself be trapped and die on this mountain.”

She paused.

“Even in the worst-case scenario, if we eat all the food and the rebels attack the mountain, as long as I still have the strength, I’ll carry you and run.”

A thousand conflicting emotions surged through Xie Zheng’s heart.

Looking at her, he asked,

“If things really get that bad, you should save yourself. Why bring me along?”

Fan Changyu answered as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Because I said I’d take care of you in the future.”

Something about those words struck directly at his heart.

He stared at her for a long time before finally saying,

“Fan Changyu, you don’t need to do this out of guilt.”

“My joining the army wasn’t because I was afraid you or your neighbors would get into trouble. The power and status I want are here.”

His voice grew colder.

“I was injured because I was earning military merit on the battlefield. It has nothing to do with you. What exactly are you feeling guilty about?”

At that moment, his expression was almost indifferent.

Fan Changyu didn’t understand why he had suddenly become so unfamiliar.

She asked quietly,

“You don’t want me to come looking for you?”

His dark eyes were cold.

Suppressing the longing buried within him, he replied,

“If it’s only because of guilt, then you shouldn’t have come. You don’t owe me anything.”

At last, Fan Changyu seemed to understand.

She pressed her lips together.

“Back in that other tent, I didn’t finish what I wanted to say.”

“Before coming to find you, I’d already prepared myself for two possibilities—whether you were alive or dead.”

She lowered her head.

“When you left, I’d beaten you up badly and said some awful things. Then I never saw you again.”

“Every time I thought about it, I felt awful. And yes, I felt guilty.”

She paused and looked up at him.

There was confusion in her eyes.

“But coming to find you… it wasn’t only because of guilt.”

“You don’t know this, but I nearly died too.”

“Qingping County and Lin’an Town were both massacred. That rebel who once pretended to be a grain-collection officer mixed in with a band of mountain bandits and came looking for revenge.”

“There were too many of them. I couldn’t beat them.”

“So I hid Changning, Aunt Zhao, and the others.”

“That bastard dislocated one of my arms, and I almost drowned at the hands of the bandit chief.”

“Later, Changning was kidnapped.”

“While searching for her, I met Uncle Zhao. He told me you’d come here.”

She took a slow breath.

“I was afraid you’d die here.”

“So I thought that no matter what, I should come and see.”

“If you were dead, I’d bury you.”

“If you were alive, then I’d sit down and talk with you.”

“I’d tell you that Changning was gone, that I couldn’t find her, but that I’d keep looking…”

She rambled on, telling him everything that had happened since his departure.

Gradually, her vision became blurry.

She blinked.

A large tear rolled down her cheek.

How strange.

She had rarely cried throughout her entire life.

Unable to see the expression on the man before her, she only felt herself suddenly pulled into a powerful embrace.

This hug was even tighter than the previous one.

So tight that her bones began to ache.

One hand pressed against the back of her head, forcing her to rest against his shoulder.

His grip was so fierce that his fingertips turned white.

It seemed as though he wanted to say something.

His throat moved.

But in the end, no words came.

He simply closed his eyes.

Everything he wished to say was contained within that silent embrace.

The mingled scent of blood and medicine wasn’t pleasant.

Yet somehow, being held in his arms made the ache in Fan Changyu’s eyes even worse.

Her chest filled with a feeling she had never experienced before.

Something very much like grievance.

After her parents died, she had suffered countless hardships.

But she had never complained to anyone.

Nor had she ever shed tears in front of others.

Only today, hidden by the shelter of his embrace, did she finally cry to her heart’s content against his shoulder.

—

Outside the tent, Gongsun Yin had just arrived with Changning.

Hearing the sounds from inside, he found himself in an awkward dilemma.

Going in seemed inappropriate.

Not going in seemed equally inappropriate.

For the first time in a long while, he looked thoroughly conflicted.