Chapter 34: Setting Thirty-Four

Setting Thirty-Four: Fairy Tale (Part 2)

The startled court lady fled through the door. Equally startled, Shan Ziwei instinctively chased her to the doorway—but only saw her round a corner and vanish from sight, already beginning to raise an alarm that would soon bring a wave of guards.

Hearing the rumbling footsteps converging on his location, about to be trapped like a turtle in a jar, Shan Ziwei had no choice but to push aside all distractions, clutch the storybook (which this particular sufferer insisted had been given to him by mistake), and seriously assess his situation and options.

Gaia had said: This is your story.

Clearly, he was the protagonist of this storybook—the “witch” who had finally become “queen” on this day.

He turned and ran back into the room. From what the court lady had said, she had come to see “the Queen preparing herself”—which meant this room was likely the Queen’s bedchamber.

Soon, he spotted what he was looking for.

European-style palace rooms typically featured ornate furniture, tapestries, and chandeliers—murals were a must. On the side of the grand bed draped with crimson curtains, Shan Ziwei saw a massive wedding coronation mural. It covered nearly an entire wall, similar to the famous painting The Coronation of Napoleon and Joséphine, showcasing the climax of a grand wedding without reservation: rows of spectators, the Queen nodding slightly, the King placing the golden crown upon her head…

“Thump.” The storybook fell from Shan Ziwei’s hands.

Though it wasn’t a moment to be spacing out, Shan Ziwei still stared transfixed at the Queen in the painting. She wore a white inner gown, cloud-like and pleated, draped in a red robe with gold trim that swept the floor. Her platinum-blonde hair was impeccably coiffed, making her face appear even more icy and aloof. Even as she inclined her head to receive the crown, one could sense that she was tilting her chin upward in haughty pride.

Most crucially, the Queen had the same face as him.

Shan Ziwei crouched dumbly, mechanically reaching to pick up the fallen book.

Though at first glance it was hard to connect the Queen in the painting with the Shan Ziwei outside it, he knew it was due to the makeup, attire, and aura. Back when he and a group of programmer friends had developed a photo app, the most popular feature was a one-click makeup filter. As one of the testers, his face had been subjected to that filter hundreds of times. So now, looking at the Queen, he immediately knew that their features were identical.

WTF…

His mind in chaos, he reached down—but grasped nothing. He looked down and saw the storybook had vanished.

The shock of “Queen-version himself” had been so immense that the book’s disappearance barely registered—just a passing thought of “oh, it’s gone.” His attention remained fixed on the mural. He stared at the breathtakingly beautiful Queen, wishing he could bore a hole through the painting with his gaze and obliterate that damnable face.

What had the game designers been through… Why were they so anti-human…

This particular sufferer wanted to throw a tantrum, rolling on the floor yelling “I won’t look, I won’t listen, I won’t play!” But his professional discipline dragged his battered body and soul toward the other end of the room—where a solid wood door stood slightly ajar, revealing a glimpse of many garments within. A dressing room.

He pushed the door open, and a wave of magnificent dresses flooded his vision—row after row of ornate, jewel-encrusted gowns. Shan Ziwei’s face turned green. He stared at the corsets and crinoline stands in the corner, and his already-dying soul finally gave up the ghost.

When a person is hit too hard, they’re capable of anything—because their consciousness has drifted into a disembodied state, unable to effectively command a body that’s no longer in the same dimension. With a wooden expression, the white-haired youth walked into the dressing room, pulled a white silk inner gown and a navy-blue velvet outer gown from the deepest rack, and began putting them on with the air of someone who’d lost the will to live.

Then he got stuck.

Muffled sounds of struggle came from inside the dress. Finally, he managed to pull it down and poke his head out. Before he could catch his breath, he heard the worst possible sound from the bedchamber—the guards summoned by the court lady had entered the bedroom and would soon burst into the dressing room.

Still tangled in female attire, Shan Ziwei faced the greatest crisis of his life—one that threatened not only his gaming career but also his lifelong reputation.

Wait—give me five more minutes—no, one minute—if only I could make them lose consciousness—

A bolt of inspiration struck.

Yes—lose consciousness! He had the Joker—that ultimate weapon. Why was he cowering like a mere mortal?

Desperation sharpened his wits. With the dress still wrapped around his neck like a scarf, he whipped out a Joker and blurted out: “I have a mass-sleep skill!”

The moment the words left his mouth, the jester on the Joker spun its eyes, then grinned a crimson smile—and dissolved into countless blue particles that seeped into his Personal Settings panel.

[Setting 1: You can use brambles to put all Chess Pieces in a castle to sleep, until the princess is kissed.]

“Slap!”

The moment Setting 1 appeared, the dressing room door was thrown open by the guards. Shan Ziwei’s nerves were stretched to the breaking point. He stared at the words “use brambles” and instinctively ran to the room’s only small window—where several thin branches bearing tiny yellow flowers lay softly across the sill. Brambles.

The first guard to enter only had time to glimpse a shadow moving at the far end—and then nothing. His leg was still mid-stride when his eyes closed in sleep. Naturally, he couldn’t see Shan Ziwei, clutching the brambles, staring in stunned awe at his own handiwork.

When Shan Ziwei grabbed the brambles and activated the skill, it spread like wildfire—expanding throughout the entire castle in a few breaths and putting everyone to sleep. Before he could feel pride, he felt fear. The skill was undeniably spectacular, but its sheer magnitude—a sudden leap from trading blows with skills to godlike power—left him with a sense of vertigo and dread. He instinctively checked his MP bar, expecting it to have been drained to zero by such an overpowered skill.

Seeing it had dropped to a mere 10%, he breathed a sigh of relief—half of his anxiety was gone. The other half lingered because of the “buy-one-get-one” System Setting. Given the urgency of the situation, even though the System Setting had appeared alongside the Personal Setting, he hadn’t had time to examine it.

He turned his attention to the upper-right corner and focused.

[Setting 1: You are attending the banquet celebrating the birth of Princess Rose. (01:30:00)]

Princess… Rose?

Shan Ziwei stared at the word “princess.” His storybook’s ending read: “Due to the witch’s actions, the beautiful princess found her true love and her home.” He was definitely the witch. So his goal now was to make the princess—presumably this Princess Rose—find happiness?

Whether or not that was the case, he glanced at the guards frozen at the door and knew he needed to focus on getting through this disastrous opening.

And so began the much-anticipated dress-up segment.

He yanked the dress off and threw it to the ground: I am no longer a mere mortal!

A minute later, the mirror in the dressing room reflected an exquisite noblewoman. “She” wore a floor-length navy-and-white gown, her platinum-blonde hair softly pinned up, her lips painted a vivid red. From any angle, she was a beauty—just a bit too tall.

Facing the queen (cross-dressing) version of himself—even with some mental preparation—Shan Ziwei’s soul took another critical hit. All four SP bars trembled and dropped a notch. Fighting the urge to destroy the mirror, he turned his attention to the two new settings:

[Setting 2: You can use the appropriate tools to disguise yourself as desired.]

[Setting 2: Your makeup skills were taught to you by the legendary thief. To honor your mentor, you have decided to steal the princess’s wedding ring. (06:00:00)]

Setting 2 saved Shan Ziwei from the hell of having to dress himself manually. Though the system had given him the inconvenient Setting 2, its activation time was generous. He optimistically thought he might clear the Chessboard before it even activated.

With his disguise sorted, he took a deep breath, ready to end the mass-sleep and get the plot moving—then stopped dead.

How did you end a skill again…

The answer was already forming in his mind, but this particular sufferer desperately checked Setting 1, praying he’d imagined the second half.

Then Setting 1 delivered the killing blow.

[Setting 1: You can use brambles to put all Chess Pieces in a castle to sleep, until the princess is kissed.]

Until the princess is kissed… the princess is kissed… kissed… until…

A thousand alpacas rolled and sang through Shan Ziwei’s mind.

The situation had been so urgent that although he’d seen Setting 1, he’d only focused on the first half—how to activate the mass-sleep! The second half had only passed through his mind without registering its meaning!

Now this half-reader had to pay the price for his carelessness.

This was Sleeping Beauty—you had to kiss the princess to break the spell! Wait—now that he thought about it, it actually did seem kind of like…

He glanced out the window at the brambles enveloping the entire castle and felt like kneeling: this was exactly the Sleeping Beauty scenario!

His mind jumped to the storybook’s ending—so now he had to find a prince to kiss the princess awake? The problem was, in Sleeping Beauty, the princess fell asleep after touching a spindle. Here, a cross-dresser had put the entire castle to sleep just to avoid being seen. The cause and effect didn’t match, and the whole thing sounded incredibly creepy.

Shan Ziwei unknowingly dealt himself another blow, then dragged his heavy feet out the door, deciding to find the princess and assess the situation.

The entire castle was as silent as a tomb under the mass-sleep. It took him nearly half an hour to find the princess’s room—he was exhausted, partly from the long walk and partly from the ornate, jewel-encrusted gown that weighed like a blanket.

The moment he saw the princess, he knew this couldn’t be a Sleeping Beauty scenario. There was no way he could guide the storybook’s ending—”the beautiful princess found her true love and her home”—because the princess wasn’t even old enough for love.

The little girl sitting on the sofa looked about eight years old, with neat chin-length hair as black as ebony, contrasting sharply with skin as white as snow. She wore a white, lace-trimmed puffball dress, her large eyes closed in sleep—as quiet and delicate as a doll in a shop window.

She fulfilled everyone’s fantasy of a doll, a little girl. Even Shan Ziwei—with his condition—felt the urge to stroke her hair and hold her close.

A family portrait on the wall confirmed her identity as the princess. Such a beautiful child was nowhere near the age of pursuing true love. That meant Shan Ziwei’s mass-sleep was indeed an accident outside the story’s plot. He had to resolve it immediately and get the story back on track.

As for how to resolve it…

His gaze fell on the princess’s lips. Her tiny mouth was as red as blood, small as a bud, as if a single kiss would yield honey.

He hadn’t even begun, and already he felt the approach of death.

This was child molestation! A life sentence! Game developers, you’re literally pushing people into crime!

Like a trapped beast, this particular sufferer paced the room for nearly twenty minutes. In the end, faced with the relentless, irrational cruelty of reality, he surrendered.

She’s not real, she’s not real, she’s not real…

The splendidly attired “Queen” crouched before the child with the expression of someone about to be hanged, not about to perform the world’s most intimate act. He glared fiercely at the child’s lips, slowly lowered his head—then stopped at one centimeter.

Wait—if he kissed her, as soon as the spell was broken, the princess would see him (the pervert). The mental image was just too perfect…

He immediately pulled back. Thinking, he drew another Joker.

“I have an invisibility skill.”

The jester on the Joker grinned.

[Setting 3: You can close your eyes to become invisible, along with anyone holding your hand.]

…What a godlike activation condition!!!

This was too much. Suddenly, Shan Ziwei realized the Jokers weren’t as wonderful as he’d imagined. They granted his wishes, sure—but it always felt like he was getting screwed somehow…

And there was that damned buy-one-get-one.

[Setting 3: You are the fairy godmother of Princess Donkeyskin. (01:00:00)]

Princess Donkeyskin?

How many princesses were there?! =口=

He stared blankly at his settings panel, trying to recall the storybook’s ending—he only remembered it said “the beautiful princess.”

Beautiful… beautiful my foot! What princess wasn’t beautiful?! he thought in despair. So which princess was he supposed to help find true love and a home? Or did he have to make all the princesses happy?

The latter possibility terrified him. He remembered the fat guy’s words: “With great power comes great responsibility”—now he truly understood. He no longer saw the Jokers as wish-granting cards—they were a bunch of troublemakers.

Calm down, Shan Ziwei. You only have two princesses to deal with right now. Don’t use any more Jokers unless absolutely necessary.

After steadying himself, he prepared to complete the interrupted kiss. He looked at the beautiful little girl before him—wondering whether she was Princess Rose or Princess Donkeyskin.

But…

He lowered his head and caught the faint, milky scent unique to children.

He’d find out soon enough.