Chapter 86

The tent flap had not been fully closed. Cold wind poured inside, causing the candle on the table to flicker weakly, making the entire tent alternately brighten and darken.

Xie Zheng’s fingers tapped impatiently against the tabletop several times. The swaying candlelight carved shifting shadows across his handsome face, making his expression increasingly unreadable.

“Then are you blaming me for hiding things from you this time?” he asked.

Fan Changyu was about to answer when the cold wind suddenly extinguished the candle completely.

The entire tent was plunged into darkness.

The words on her lips changed.

“I’ll relight the candle first.”

Just as she stood up, a hand caught her wrist.

The grip wasn’t particularly forceful, yet she couldn’t easily break free.

Xie Zheng’s low voice sounded in the darkness.

“I told you before that I have a very dangerous enemy.”

“The last time I nearly died at his hands was because there was a traitor in the army.”

“If I had recklessly dragged you and your sister into this, he might have targeted you as well.”

“The more people who knew, the greater the danger.”

“That’s why, after you mistakenly assumed I was an ordinary soldier, I simply went along with it.”

He paused before continuing.

“There’s one more thing I owe you an apology for.”

“Your sister was kidnapped because the rebels mistakenly thought she was a member of the Xie family.”

After what Xie Qi had told her earlier, Fan Changyu had already guessed that Changning’s kidnapping was related to Xie Zheng.

Even so, hearing him confirm it left her momentarily stunned.

Outside the tent, a tripod brazier used for illumination stood beneath a simple rain shelter.

By the firelight filtering in from outside, they could vaguely make out each other’s figures.

Xie Zheng clearly saw the expression on her face.

“The man who kidnapped Changning is someone you know as well.”

“The rebel who impersonated the grain collection officers and incited the refugees to besiege Qingping County.”

“He is Sui Yuanqing, heir to Prince Changxin.”

This time Fan Changyu was genuinely dumbfounded.

That bastard was actually a rebel prince?

Her almond-shaped eyes widened like amber.

When she looked at Xie Zheng, his gaze darkened slightly.

She asked,

“The wound on your chest… was that from rescuing Changning? Did he injure you?”

Xie Zheng frowned.

He clearly disliked admitting that Sui Yuanqing had managed to wound him and leave him bedridden for so many days.

Releasing her wrist, he said only,

“I captured him alive.”

If Fan Changyu had previously felt guilty after hearing Xie Qi’s explanation—believing that Changning had suffered because she herself had grown too close to Xie Zheng—then understanding the entire sequence of events now made her feelings even more complicated.

If she hadn’t opposed that bastard to protect Qingping County, he wouldn’t have sought revenge against her.

If he hadn’t gone to her house seeking revenge, he wouldn’t have seen that painting.

If he hadn’t seen the painting, he wouldn’t have recognized Yan Zheng.

If he hadn’t recognized Yan Zheng, he wouldn’t have kidnapped Changning to threaten him.

Unfortunately, there were no “ifs.”

And even if she could relive everything, she would probably still choose to protect Qingping County by capturing him.

Only this time, she would be more decisive and simply kill the rebel with a single stroke.

After remaining silent for a moment and calming her emotions, she said,

“Changning’s kidnapping wasn’t entirely your fault. I share responsibility too.”

“And you were injured so badly while saving her.”

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“There’s no need for you to apologize.”

“As for deceiving me on the mountain…”

She paused before continuing.

“You were thinking of my sister and me.”

“So I don’t really have anything to blame you for.”

Her unusual calmness only deepened the restlessness in Xie Zheng’s eyes.

He could already vaguely guess what she intended to say next.

Merely thinking about it stirred a dark, turbulent emotion in his chest.

Pressing one hand against his brow, he suppressed his agitation.

“This talk you wanted…”

“Are you planning to tell me we should part ways again?”

Fan Changyu choked slightly.

Inwardly she thought that they hadn’t had that conversation many times.

Besides, his fake marriage into her family had originally been agreed upon beforehand.

Honestly, she replied,

“We were never really together in the first place, so I don’t think it counts as parting ways.”

The instant she finished speaking, the atmosphere around him turned sharply colder.

Fan Changyu’s heart skipped a beat.

Slowly lifting his eyes, Xie Zheng asked,

“We were never together?”

Meeting his imposing gaze, she answered gently but firmly,

“If you’re referring to our time in Qingping County, then you only entered my family through a fake marriage. We had agreed to that from the start.”

“Besides, you used a false name.”

“Yan Zheng never truly existed.”

“That marriage certificate doesn’t really count.”

“So neither do those days.”

Xie Zheng looked away.

When he lowered his eyes, his dark lashes resembled the folded wings of a raven.

“Then why did you come looking for me?”

“Why insist that I return with you?”

“And why take it upon yourself to go to the battlefield in my place?”

A cold smile tugged at his lips.

Fan Changyu looked at him.

Her gaze gradually softened.

Yet behind that gentleness stood something stronger and unwavering.

“Because back then, you were Yan Zheng.”

For perhaps the first time, confusion appeared in Xie Zheng’s normally cold and arrogant eyes.

His voice turned hoarse.

“But wasn’t that me too?”

Fan Changyu said,

“The person didn’t change.”

“But everything behind that identity changed.”

“When you were Yan Zheng, you were simply yourself.”

“When you’re Marquis Wu’an, you’re no longer just yourself.”

“You’re the great hero admired by the entire realm.”

“You’re also General Xie’s only son.”

“The woman worthy of marrying the Marquis should be the kind of gentle, virtuous, capable lady that you once described.”

“I’ve had little education.”

“I only recognize a few characters.”

“Forget music, chess, calligraphy, and painting—I haven’t even finished reading the Four Books.”

“Naturally, I’m not qualified to be the Marquis’s principal wife.”

“But my parents raised me.”

“I can’t demean myself by becoming someone’s concubine.”

Xie Zheng stared into her eyes.

“What makes you so certain that I wouldn’t want to marry you as my wife?”

Fan Changyu froze.

Was he joking?

The famed Marquis Wu’an marrying a butcher’s daughter?

If word got out, wouldn’t the entire realm laugh itself to death?

For a moment she panicked.

“Don’t say such nonsense…”

Xie Zheng interrupted coldly.

“You think that’s nonsense?”

Frowning, Fan Changyu replied,

“When families of low status marry upward, at most it’s a wealthy merchant’s daughter marrying a poor scholar.”

“Have you ever seen a princess marry a poor scholar?”

“Even if a princess marries beneath herself, she still marries the top scholar of the imperial examinations.”

“I didn’t know your identity before.”

“But now that I do, how can I possibly take those old words seriously?”

At least she possessed that much self-awareness.

When Xie Zheng heard her compare him to a princess, a vein jumped at his temple.

And hearing the rest of her reasoning only made him laugh coldly.

“Who a princess marries is decided by the Emperor.”

“Who I marry is decided by me.”

He lowered his gaze to her.

“So what if I’m Marquis Wu’an?”

“I didn’t grow three heads and six arms.”

“I’m not going to swallow you whole.”

“Yet you’re so frightened of me.”

His words left Fan Changyu’s thoughts in disarray.

After a long while, she finally said,

“Let me tell you a story.”

“When I was little, there was a tofu vendor in town.”

“She was widowed young, but she was hardworking and managed her tofu stall alone.”

“Her life was fairly comfortable.”

“She was also beautiful, so many widowers sent matchmakers to propose marriage.”

“But she rejected them all.”

“Later, the son of a wealthy landowner came to Lin’an Town with some friends.”

“He saw her and became completely captivated.”

“He began visiting her stall every few days to buy tofu.”

“Gradually, they became close.”

“He wasn’t some frivolous playboy either.”

“He always treated her respectfully.”

“Eventually, he told his family he wanted to marry her.”

Xie Zheng could already guess how the story would end.

Coldly, he said,

“Don’t compare me to someone else.”

Fan Changyu didn’t respond.

She simply continued.

“How could the landowner’s family possibly agree to let their son marry a widow?”

“The old matriarchs became so angry they fell ill.”

“They locked their son up and even hired local thugs to smash the tofu vendor’s stall.”

“For a time, the entire town was filled with gossip about her.”

“Everyone thought their relationship was over.”

“But the young master went on a hunger strike.”

“His family loved him dearly, so they eventually agreed.”

“However, they would only allow her to enter as a concubine.”

“The tofu vendor remarried into a wealthy household.”

“She didn’t dare hope to become the principal wife.”

“She only wanted the young master to treat her well.”

“Though it was merely a concubine’s wedding, the celebration was almost as grand as a proper marriage.”

“Everyone in town said she was fortunate and would enjoy a life of comfort.”

“Whenever she returned to town over the next few years, she dressed beautifully.”

“But she grew thinner and thinner each year.”

“The only thing that never changed was that some people envied her, while others spread cruel rumors behind her back.”

“They said she was vulgar.”

“That she wasn’t a respectable woman.”

“That after her husband died, she flirted shamelessly until she seduced the young master and married into wealth.”

“By the third year, she had been thrown out of the estate.”

“Fortunately, she had been born a common citizen.”

“If she’d been a servant, she would’ve been sold outright.”

Xie Zheng’s expression remained cold.

“The man simply changed his heart.”

Fan Changyu shook her head.

“I used to think so too.”

“But my mother said something different.”

“People walking different paths may come together for a time, but eventually they’ll separate.”

“It’s like choosing a rough stone from a pile of gold and jade.”

“Everyone pities the person who made the choice.”

“The stone receives envy from some and ridicule from others.”

“But what people don’t realize is this—”

“The person who chose the stone can always return to gold and jade.”

“But the stone never gets another choice.”

“The tofu vendor was like that.”

“When the young master loved her, she was better than noble ladies.”

“When he stopped loving her, she became no different from tavern girls or tea sellers.”

Xie Zheng said coldly,

“That only proves the man’s will was weak.”

“When I decide I want something, I’ll cling to it until we’re both rotting together in the grave.”

As he spoke, his dark eyes remained fixed on Fan Changyu.

Beneath the calmness in his gaze lurked a ruthlessness that made hearts tremble.

Fan Changyu’s heartbeat unconsciously quickened.

Yet remembering the lessons her mother had taught her, her eyes became clear and resolute once more.

“My mother also said there was more to it than that.”

“No one can abandon their past.”

“The fact that the tofu vendor was once a widow followed her her entire life.”

“The mistress of the household disliked her.”

“She endured endless scrutiny and contempt.”

“She couldn’t quickly learn the rules and etiquette of wealthy families.”

“Her mother-in-law suppressed her.”

“Her sisters-in-law mocked her.”

“Even the servants looked down on her.”

“Those voices, combined with the differences in status, slowly eroded her confidence every day.”

“The only thing she could rely on was the young master’s affection.”

“But everyone around her kept telling her she wasn’t good enough.”

“You can ignore those words once or twice.”

“But if you hear them every day, year after year, eventually they’ll affect you.”

“The flaws you once ignored begin to stand out.”

“The young master was born into wealth.”

“When he was learning to read, she was probably helping her mother with housework.”

“When he was drinking and socializing with friends, she was likely bent over making tofu.”

“The young master lived for romance.”

“The tofu vendor lived for survival.”

“He didn’t think preparing meals was anything special because he had servants.”

“She couldn’t understand the refined pleasures of poetry and painting.”

“They were fundamentally different kinds of people.”

“How could they truly understand each other’s thoughts?”

“Each believed they were offering their most precious treasure.”

“But to the other person, it might mean nothing.”

“Small conflicts accumulated over time.”

“And when they finally looked back, an insurmountable gulf had formed between them.”

At last, Fan Changyu lifted her eyes and looked directly at Xie Zheng.

“The Marquis is a hero without equal.”

“Only the daughters of princes and ministers are suitable matches for you.”

“I’m just a butcher.”

“If you married me, the entire world would laugh at you.”

After listening to her lengthy story and hearing her suggest that he marry a nobleman’s daughter instead, Xie Zheng laughed from sheer exasperation.

“Who I marry is my business.”

“What does it have to do with the rest of the world?”

Fan Changyu remained silent for a long time before speaking.

“I thought after everything I’ve said, you’d understand what I meant.”

Yet her fingers unconsciously tightened.

A dull ache filled her chest.

For a fleeting moment, she thought how wonderful it would have been if he had only been Yan Zheng.

The two sat separated by a single table, gazing at one another through the thin veil of darkness.

Finally, Xie Zheng spoke.

“Do you think everything I told you before was a lie as well?”

Fan Changyu blinked, not understanding what he meant.

Then she heard him say,

“I told you long ago.”

“I have no family left.”

“I’m the only one.”

As he spoke, his expression was strangely indifferent, as though he hated discussing anything related to his family.

Pressing her lips together, Fan Changyu replied,

“I never thought those things were lies.”

Xie Zheng smiled.

The smile carried a complicated meaning.

He looked both hurt and defiant, though his pride quickly buried the vulnerability.

“The story you told doesn’t apply to us.”

“The Xie family still has several collateral branches.”

“If you married into the family, they’d be the ones trying desperately to please you.”

“You wouldn’t encounter fools mocking or belittling you the way the tofu vendor did.”

“If you don’t want to listen to their flattery, then simply don’t see them.”

“Once the rebels are eliminated and Wei Yan is dead, I’ll request permission to remain stationed on the western frontier.”

“You’ll come with me to my territory.”

“Ten years could pass without us returning to the capital even once.”

“As for noblewomen you’d need to socialize with in the capital, you could count them on one hand.”

“Avoid them long enough and you’ll hardly ever see them again.”

“As for the world’s ridicule…”

“If you think I still have other choices, then I’ll ask His Majesty to grant us an imperial marriage.”

“As long as I don’t rebel in this lifetime, I’d only be allowed to keep you as my wife.”

“At that point, no one in the realm would dare object.”

“As for shared interests…”

“When I’m free, I either practice martial arts or study.”

“You possess remarkable talent in martial arts.”

“And you’ve become quite diligent with books as well.”

“By that standard, our interests already align.”

“So there is no gulf between us.”

Only then did he finally stop.

His clear, beautiful eyes reflected the image of the young woman before him.

Slowly, he asked,

“Fan Changyu…”

“If I marry you…”

“Will you marry me?”

Perhaps from the moment he realized his feelings, he had already begun planning their future.

Now that he had finally spoken the words aloud, he felt neither reckless nor inappropriate.

Within the silence that followed, he simply waited for the answer that would settle everything.