Chapter 22

Never before had she seen such a beautiful holiday.

Every light bloomed at once in the darkness, as if by magic.

Nor had she ever noticed how warm and heartwarming this holiday could be. Under the colorful lights, the fountain in People’s Square glittered as though every droplet were made of crystal. Water fell from the sky, scattering across the ground like shattered gold. Mischievous children reached out to catch the splashing water, only to be soaked and squeal as they darted around the fountain. Sweet couples walked hand in hand, the girls holding balloons or flowers handed out by roadside Santas, their faces glowing with happiness. The department store windows were decorated with snowflakes of every shape, white and misty.

Song Jia Nan looked up.

Behind the square, beside the stadium, stood a gigantic billboard. The sweet-looking girl on it wore a gentle smile. Even though it was obviously an advertisement, it still filled people with an inexplicable sense of happiness.

Inside the spacious stadium, darkness enveloped everything. Only the stage was dimly lit, with wisps of smoke drifting through the air.

Cheers and excited screams echoed all around her. Everyone nearby was waving glow sticks with all their strength, shouting without pause as the stage lights constantly shifted and changed.

Only she sat there quietly.

Whenever she closed her eyes, half of what she saw was painful memories, the other half sweet reality.

She wasn’t a fan here to cheer.

She was simply a listener.

She had come to hear these old songs and let them awaken the memories buried deep inside her heart.

A melody she knew all too well drifted into her ears.

“Happy Breakup, I hope you’re happy. Only by saying goodbye to the wrong person can you meet the right one. Leaving an old love is like riding a slow train. Once you understand your heart completely, the skies will clear. No one can take away another person’s happiness…”

Caught completely off guard, she wondered how long it had been since she had last heard this song.

Memories flooded over her like a tidal wave.

It had been the first time…

And the only time…

They had ever spoken on the phone.

She no longer remembered what his voice sounded like. All she remembered was that it felt like dripping water piercing through ice—cool, gentle, yet astonishingly clear.

It had been an ordinary evening.

She had just left the study room and was walking back to her dormitory when her phone suddenly rang.

She hurriedly fumbled through her schoolbag, but the moment she saw the caller ID, she completely lost the courage to answer.

It was Su Li.

For so long, they had exchanged only one or two brief text messages. Most of their communication had been through letters. She had never called him.

Nor had he ever called her.

Had he dialed the wrong number?

Or accidentally pressed the call button?

Song Jia Nan slowly crouched down, clutching her phone tightly as she watched the screen continue flashing before the ringing finally stopped.

She let out a quiet sigh of relief.

Or perhaps…

It was disappointment.

She wasn’t sure.

Just as she was about to send him a message asking what had happened, before she could type the first character, the screen lit up again.

Su Li.

After hesitating for a long moment, she finally answered.

For quite some time, all she could hear was her own uneven, nervous breathing.

“Are you there?”

His voice traveled thousands of kilometers, carrying a trace of uncertainty and distance.

Yet it sounded beautiful.

The only time she had ever heard his voice in person, she had desperately tried to memorize it. Yet afterward, no matter how hard she recalled it, nothing remained.

Now that strange yet familiar voice sounded once more, awakening every memory of her youth.

Tears surged into her eyes.

Unable to control her emotions, she could only answer softly,

“…Mm.”

Both of them seemed awkward.

After a moment, he spoke quietly, almost as if talking to himself.

“It’s snowing here. I’m sitting in the stadium stands. The snowflakes are huge… everything’s blurred. I don’t know why, but I suddenly wanted to find someone to talk to.”

“…Mm. Unfortunately, we never get snow here. There are only a few stars tonight.”

The wind roared on his end of the phone.

Song Jia Nan slowly stood up, walked to the nearest bench by the roadside, sat down, and looked up at the night sky while listening to the howling wind.

“You’re not busy right now, are you?”

“No. I just left the study room.”

Another strange silence settled between them.

A vague feeling of unease crept into Song Jia Nan’s heart.

Then he suddenly spoke.

“I don’t know why… but I’ve suddenly remembered so many things. That year… it was also a snowy night…”

He didn’t continue.

He merely sighed softly and murmured,

“They say people become sentimental when reminded of the past. I guess it’s true.”

He never said it outright.

But Song Jia Nan understood.

He was talking about his first love.

At the time, she knew nothing about Su Li and Qin Yuan Yuan’s past. Only after they reconnected years later did she gradually piece together what had happened.

Anything she might say to comfort him felt useless.

She had never been good at comforting people.

So she simply sighed quietly along with him.

Instead, he laughed.

“Why are you sighing? By the way… can you sing?”

“What?”

“Sing. When you’re in a bad mood, you should listen to music… and sing. Do you know Liang Jingru’s Happy Breakup?”

“Huh?”

Song Jia Nan was genuinely surprised.

“I thought you didn’t listen to songs like that.”

A faint smile lingered in his voice.

“I thought all girls knew how to sing that song.”

“Who says I can’t?”

She took the bait immediately.

Her voice was naturally a little low, lacking the sweet softness many girls had. Instead, it carried a unique huskiness.

She began humming softly before gradually singing in a low voice.

“Happy Breakup, I hope you’re happy. Only by saying goodbye to the wrong person can you meet the right one. Leaving an old love is like riding a slow train. Once you understand your heart completely, the skies will clear. No one can take away another person’s happiness…”

One song after another.

Songs by Liang Jingru.

By Faye Wong.

By Tanya Chua.

By Maggie Chiang.

She couldn’t sing any of them all the way through, but her pitch and rhythm were always accurate.

It sounded like a medley.

That night went on until very late.

She had no idea what time it was.

In the darkness, she listened to time quietly flowing by.

She listened to his voice.

She listened as his mood slowly changed from sadness to happiness.

She felt…

So happy.

So content.

Who was it that once said that once you’ve had something, you no longer ask for anything else?

Who was it that said they didn’t care about forever, only that they had once possessed it?

She couldn’t remember anymore.

She only remembered that, in the end, she sang Red Bean.

“Sometimes… sometimes… I believe everything has an end. Meetings and partings all happen in their own time. Nothing lasts forever.”

She stopped abruptly.

Su Li laughed.

“Why did you stop singing?”

“I forgot the lyrics.”

Song Jia Nan forced a smile.

“I haven’t sung this song in a long time. I’ve almost forgotten it.”

She never told him…

She remembered the next lyrics perfectly.

“But sometimes… I’d rather hold on and never let go. When we’ve seen every landscape there is to see… perhaps you’ll stay with me to watch the quiet flow of life.”

She remembered every single word.

She simply didn’t have the courage to sing them.

Because her love had always been so resolute…

And at the same time…

So timid.

Her love was brave…

Yet lonely.

It was fearless when facing herself…

Yet humble whenever it faced him.

Suddenly, she felt moisture on her face.

Her fingertips and the back of her hand were icy cold.

She laughed softly.

So it really wasn’t possible to attend a concert filled with so many memories all by yourself.

Yet there was also an indescribable feeling.

It was as though, together with those tears, something from her past was slowly being pulled out of her body and dissolving into the air.

Her heart stirred slightly.

Unexpectedly…

She felt much lighter.

As always, the final song was the wildly popular Courage.

The young woman onstage wore a brilliant red evening gown.

The lights flooded the stadium.

Almost everyone stood up.

Together they sang—

Or rather, shouted—

“Love really needs courage to face all the gossip. As long as your eyes tell me I’m enough, then my love has meaning. We all need the courage to believe we’ll be together. In this crowded sea of people, I can feel you placing your sincere heart into my hands.”

The girl beside her tightly clasped her boyfriend’s hand.

Unshed tears shimmered in her eyes.

Another girl nearby was already crying, laughing and sobbing at the same time.

Song Jia Nan bit her lip and quietly sang along.

So many people.

Standing together.

Singing the same song.

So many smiling faces…

Happy faces…

Moved faces…

Sad faces…

People immersed in sweet love.

People trapped in ambiguity.

People feeling lost.

Heartbroken.

Hopeless.

All gathered together at this Christmas Eve concert.

When the concert ended, the enormous corridor became packed with people.

Everyone surged toward the exits.

In the chaos, Song Jia Nan was accidentally pushed against the wall, bumping into it lightly.

She stopped, shook her head, and checked that she still had all of her belongings.

Then, almost unconsciously, she glanced into the distance.

A familiar figure.

Lean.

Straight-backed.

It looked so much like someone she knew.

But…

So what if it really was him?

And so what if it wasn’t?

Song Jia Nan smiled to herself.

Their lives had always been about missing each other.

It was all over now.

The beauty of the beginning…

Had truly become nothing more than a beautiful memory.

By the time she left the venue, it was already very late.

Yet the square was still alive with the festive atmosphere.

There were fewer children now.

Most of the people were couples and friends leaving the concert together.

The night was deep.

This city lay between north and south, and by late December the temperature was already close to freezing.

Song Jia Nan slipped her hands into the pockets of her coat, tilted her face upward, and greedily breathed in the icy air.

She suddenly thought of many people.

But one face gradually became clearer than all the others.

Many times, only when someone was no longer by her side did Song Jia Nan realize how slowly longing would rise from the depths of her heart.

It turned out…

She was also the sort of person who only learned to cherish something after it was gone.

Because she had always lived inside her memories.

She took out her phone.

Five missed calls.

Every single one was from Xi Luoyu.

Smiling, she called him back.

“Do you know? I just went to Liang Jingru’s concert.”

Xi Luoyu seemed momentarily stunned.

He had probably never heard Song Jia Nan speak to him like this before.

Her voice was soft, almost coquettish, sweet enough that it was obvious she was in an exceptionally good mood.

“I just got to the hotel. Haha… you’ve certainly had a fulfilling Christmas Eve.”

“It was so moving. So… so unbelievable. So many people standing together, singing together. I always wondered why people screamed and shouted so wildly at concerts before. It turns out… it’s really because of the atmosphere.”

“My Christmas present?”

“Hm?”

Song Jia Nan blinked before laughing.

“Didn’t you get presents from anyone else? You’re a grown man, not little Song Rui. Aren’t you embarrassed to ask me for a gift? I haven’t even received yours yet.”

“I prepared a Christmas present for you.”

He paused.

“But… where’s mine?”

After what felt like centuries, Xi Luoyu’s voice drifted through the phone.

It sounded distant, as though even he wasn’t entirely certain.

“Song Jia Nan… could you sing Courage for me?”

“Take it… as my Christmas present?”